Page 100 of Finding You
She took a breath and paused, clearly trying to compose herself. “I am Astrid goddamn Wentworth. I go after what I want. I always have and I always will. And you are what I want, Declan Quinn.”
I sat there, shocked. Of all the things I had imagined, this conversation was not one of them.
“If you don’t want me, that’s fine. I’ll leave. But if you pushed me away because of some stupid bullshit about not being good enough, then fuck you.”
I had to say something but I didn’t know what. Instead I got up and put my arms around her. She sank into me and rested her head on my shoulder, and in that moment, I knew I still had a chance.
“You hurt both of us because of your pride and your bullshit male ego,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” I said, holding her closer. “I’m so sorry. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and…”
She snapped back, breaking the hug, and crossed her arms over her chest. “You are good enough for me if I say you are. Understood?”
I nodded.
“No one has ever taken care of me in my life. And I haven’t needed it. I haven’t wanted it. But I want you. I want Ginger. I want to read books and smoke meat and sip fine whiskey together. I want to spend hours not talking and then have wild sex.”
I grinned, loving her attitude. “But what about the firm?”
She flipped her hair. “Oh, I told them to go fuck themselves. I have multiple other offers. And I have a lawsuit to prepare. I’m not letting this slide. If I'm going down, I'm taking the whole sexist system with me too.”
I tried to suppress the grin that spread across my face. I was so proud of her.
“My entire life has been focused on achieving one goal. And coming here and meeting you made me realize that goal was bullshit. It wasn’t what I wanted. I was too scared to let myself really want anything. I came to Havenport and discovered great sex and delicious food and how to live. I made friends and fell in love with a really bitchy dog.”
I grabbed her again and kissed her gently. I broke the kiss and smiled at her. Before I knew it she clamped both hands on the sides of my head and pulled me into a far more aggressive kiss. Our lips, tongues, and teeth tangled in a clash of lust and frustration.
She stepped back, and I felt a rush of pride to see that she was breathless. “You pretend you want to just sit here alone in your fortress of solitude, but I don’t believe you. You are a big softie under that broody tattooed exterior. And I love you for it. I love your hard edges, your cranky attitude, and your soft gooey center.”
I knew this was my chance. “Astrid, I love you too. You love fiercely and truly and unequivocally. And I want you to let me love you back.”
She nodded. “I know who I am, Declan. I don’t need to be a fancy law firm partner.” She put her hands on her hips. “I need you. I need my friends, I need this town. And you don’t get to tell me what I need.”
“I know,” I said, ashamed of how I had acted. “Are you trying to get back together, or are you just yelling at me?” I asked playfully, loving how riled up she was right now.
She stomped her foot. “Both.” Her eyes narrowed but she was smiling. “I love you because you don’t tell me what to do, you help me figure out what I need. The day you bought me the sledgehammer… I knew that day I was falling for you. And that I would never find anyone like you again. I have spent the last few weeks suffering because you weren’t willing to give us a chance.”
I gathered her in my arms. “Astrid. I was so wrong. About everything. And I will never, ever, ever, do that again. I respect the hell out of you, and I want you to be the person you want to be. I just hope you let me tag along for the ride. Because that’s what I want. To be with you every day, getting a front row seat to your awesomeness and taking you home to my bed every night.”
She hugged me tighter and my heart soared. “And I am ready to grovel. I am ready to do whatever it takes to earn your respect and forgiveness. Because I know I acted like an asshole and I will do anything to make it right.”
She smirked at me. A full-blown, sexy smirk. And I started to mentally calculate how quickly I could get her out of her pantsuit. I slowly eased the blazer down her shoulders and draped it on the couch. I pulled her closer, basking in the smell of her. She carefully toed off her heels, kicking them aside, without breaking the hold we had on one another.
“I met with Lucas Kim yesterday,” she said. “I am going to work with him to develop a model for a legal services clinic for the women’s shelter here in town. We want to be full service, covering all legal needs. Lucas thinks if we can put the logistics together, we could potentially roll this out to the broader network of DV organizations and shelters statewide.”
My heart swelled with pride. “Wow, that sounds impressive.”
She looked up at me playfully. “I haven’t done anything yet.” She took a deep breath. “But it will be impressive. I feel passionately about helping women and children. And, I know you have some weird jealousy thing about Luke, but he’s a great guy, and he also asked me if I would be willing to take on some additional legal work for him as well, on a consulting basis.”
I began to gently nibble on her long neck, and I could feel her racing heartbeat. “That sounds fantastic. I’m sure he could use someone as brilliant as yourself.”
She arched her back, giving me more access to her neck and collarbones. My hands roamed all over her, grabbing her supple ass and squeezing.
“It looks like I’m actually going to be pretty busy for the next couple of months,” she breathily whispered.
I paused, my mouth on her neck. “Do you need a place to stay?”
She pulled back and threw her arms around my shoulders. “Do you have a lead on an apartment?” she asked flirtatiously. “I’m pretty picky, and I really like ocean views…”
