Page 36 of Finding You
“I can imagine. I haven’t met her, but I hear she’s… intense.”
Emily nodded. “Oh yes. So he’s lying to his family. That seems weird. They are all so close.”
“Listen, it’s not my story to tell. He is sensitive about his family and falling short of their expectations. And given the situation I’ve gotten myself into, I can’t exactly judge, now can I?”
“No, you’re right.”
“So I am just going to be the best fake girlfriend I can be. We are going to Liam and Cece’s party next month and that will be the big test.”
She smiled and nodded at me like I was one of her kids. “I don’t understand why this is fake. Why not just date?”
“Because it’s fake. That’s what it is.”
“You say that. But is it really fake in your head? In your heart? What about your lady bits, Astrid? Does your vagina think it’s fake?”
I didn’t know how to respond. Of course my vagina didn’t think it was fake. My vagina had a mind of her own around Declan. Just thinking about him made me clench my thighs together.
Emily was still staring at me. “I don’t know what I want. I like him. A lot.”
“In a sexual way?”
Emily could be so dense sometimes. “Yes, in a sexual way. You have eyes. I don’t need to tell you he is scorching hot.”
“Yes, sweetie, I’ve been married ten years but even I could see his hotness from space.”
“Yes. He is solar flare hot. And it’s difficult not to rub up against him whenever I see him. Nora gave me a vibrator as a present, and it’s getting some use.”
Emily laughed. “Of course she did. Nora is the best. Also, why didn’t you have a vibrator?”
“Stay focused, Emily.”
“Astrid, he’s interested. Look at you. And he’s inviting you over and hanging out with you? He’s into you. Just go for it.”
“I can’t. I’m the one who set the ground rules. I was the one who negotiated the terms. I can’t be the one that breaks.”
“Aaah. So you want him to make the first move?”
“Yes. No. No, I don’t want anyone to make any moves.” I stood up, getting frustrated. “If he makes a move, I will be powerless to resist and then things will get complicated.”
Emily shook her head at me. “All the best stuff is complicated. Simple isn’t fun, kid.”
15
ASTRID
Declan had insistedthat the Annual Havenport Christmas Tree Burn was the perfect venue for our first town event as a fake couple. It was the only town festival or event in January, and it was dark, outdoors, and freezing cold, so no one would be paying too much attention to us. He said we could try out our fake relationship and get a feel for how to sell it. So I bundled up and hoped for the best.
I had certainly never experienced anything like this before. There were hundreds of people out in a frozen corn field chanting and yelling while the firemen lit up a giant pile of Christmas trees approximately the size of a small apartment complex. The sun was starting to set, and everywhere I looked, bundled-up people ate, drank, and huddled near small campfires that were set up around the perimeter. Kids ran wild, playing games and throwing snowballs across the vast open land.
“So am I dressed okay?” I was wearing a giant red winter coat and a red hat with a pom-pom on it. My legs were encased in thick thermal leggings, and I had just bought the cutest knee-high winter snow boots.
“You look great. It’s going to be really cold. Are you sure you’re warm enough?”
“Yup. Got new boots, and a hat, and everything. I’m ready.” I felt ready.
He drew me closer as we walked. “Are you really ready?” He gestured between us. “You know, to be my fake girlfriend?”
I gave him my best lawyer stare. “I was born ready. Are you having second thoughts?”
