Page 43 of Finding You
He ran his fingers through his hair, and I noticed it had been a while since he’d had a trim. My older brother was always the cool, controlled one. He supported Liam when his first brewery went under, and he helped me figure my shit out after I got out of the navy. He was there for everyone. And part of me was proud that I could be there for him.
“So that’s why you have been exercising like a demon?”
“I guess so. I need something to take my mind off this.”
“Fair enough. I’m here if you need me. To talk, to drink, or to run. Got it?”
“Thanks, bro.” He clapped me on the shoulder and offered a weak smile.
“Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?”
“Hell, no. Mom would probably go slash their tires. Or worse.”
“Remember when she went to the psychic lady who used to set up a table in the town square and tried to put a curse on Becca?”
We both laughed. My mom was many things, but forgiving was not one of them. Becca had hurt her son and denied her grandbabies. My mom was still furious at her.
“Good call, the last thing we need is Mom getting arrested.”
* * *
“So are we going to talk about Astrid?”
We had snagged a booth in the corner of the diner. It was busy, even though it was still early, and after two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches on homemade English muffins, I was feeling much better. The diner always made me feel better. It was a second home.
I sipped my third cup of coffee and tried to figure out how to avoid this conversation. “What is there to talk about?”
“I don’t know. What is the deal? You seem anxious every time I bring her up.”
I didn’t know how to respond to his question. Was it because I was overwhelmed with anxiety about lying to my family? Or was it because I could not compartmentalize my feelings for her and knew things were already getting messy?
“I’m not trying to offend you. I am genuinely happy for you. It’s been a long time since you found someone you liked enough to keep around for a while. It’s a good thing,” he said, gesturing Jackie for a coffee refill.
I was feeling defensive. “Let me guess, you think she’s too good for me?” It wasn’t shocking. I figured this would be the response of most people. But it kind of hurt to hear it come from my brother.
“No. Not at all.”
“Bullshit.”
“Maybe. But not for the reasons you think.”
“Really?”
Callum pinned me with his big brother stare. “I don’t care about her Ivy League degrees or her fancy job. You are one of the smartest people I know.”
“No way.” I hated when he did this. Tried to pretend I was as smart as he was. I knew it wasn’t true, and I hated being lied to.
“You are, Dec. You are thoughtful and creative and humble. You are great. Don’t put yourself down.”
I knew there was a “but” coming. I waited for him to continue.
“But I worry about you. It takes a lot to get you out of your shell. And I am worried this girl will hurt you. She is clearly only here temporarily, and she comes from a very different world.”
I debated how to respond. He was right. Of course he was. My brother was perceptive as well as smart, and nothing got by him, especially when it came to his family. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the need to tell him the truth. He was my best friend, and I felt guilty lying to him.
“It’s fake,” I said, staring into my coffee mug.
“I don’t follow.”
