Page 55 of Finding You
“Exactly,” he exclaimed. “The local legal services organization is swamped, and we’ve tried to build partnerships with some outside law firms, but we need to put some kind of formal program in place. The shelter is not just housing. The crisis center assists tens of thousands of families all over the region each year. Organizations like this play a significant role in helping people, and I need to make the connection between our services and legal assistance.”
He was so passionate, even I was impressed. I never had anything against Luke Kim. On the contrary, I thought he was a decent guy. But the fact that this tech billionaire was so devoted to women and children in crisis? It warmed my icy heart a bit. My parents had always given back to the community, but what was I doing?
“I’m not a brilliant lawyer like my girlfriend, but I’d love to get involved if I could. I don’t suppose the shelter needs fish?” I joked.
He laughed. “Hey, your fish is amazing, man. But now that you mention it, we really need more local job placements. People want to work, they want good jobs, but it’s hard to find some right now. I don’t suppose you are hiring?”
I racked my brain. We ran a pretty lean operation, but we were always in need of more bodies. “I could really use some admin help and a warehouse supervisor,” I offered. I would talk to Callum about expanding payroll. We were up to our eyeballs in orders at the moment, and adding on some organized people would really help as we moved into the summer months.
Luke clapped me on the shoulder. “Good man! I will have my assistant call you on Monday and we can get some more details. Helping people find jobs is my favorite part of this gig.”
I smiled at him. He really was a genuine, kind person.
“And Astrid,” he said, turning to her, “I’d love to pick your brain about the legal stuff.” He handed her a card. “Give me a call sometime.”
Luke scampered off to go schmooze, and Astrid and I were left staring at each other.
“You should call him,” I said gruffly, studying the contents of my empty beer stein.
She shoved me. “Don’t be jealous, Declan.”
“I’m not. He is a good guy and he is really committed to helping people.”
“But I’m a corporate lawyer,” she demurred.
I put my arm around her shoulders. “You are a brilliant, hard-working lawyer. I am pretty sure you can figure out all the stuff he was talking about.”
She fussed with her hair. “Of course I could. I could set up a legal service delivery model for the shelter and get up to speed on the various types of law, or outsource to some local contacts, but that’s not the point.”
I waited, knowing there was more. Astrid was still working through her feelings, and I wanted to give her the space to do it.
She bristled. “I have to go back to Boston, back to a BigLaw firm. That’s what I'm qualified to do. I’ve spent ten years working toward this one goal. I need to stay focused.”
I gave her a tight smile. And that, right there, folks, was why I couldn’t get attached to this girl. Because she didn’t want this place. She didn’t want me. She wanted to go back to her workaholic law firm life, and no matter how much I wanted to, I would not stand in her way.
21
ASTRID
I was feeling better.The party last night had been fun, and Declan and I seemed to get over the weirdness between us. I was worried that it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. We had fun together, despite the lingering sexual tension. I enjoyed being around him. His quiet strength and his steady countenance calmed me. I didn’t feel the need to fill silences with him. We enjoyed them together.
But I was still feeling uneasy. The memory of that kiss after the Christmas Tree Burn haunted me. I’d had more than a few sexy dreams about him since. He conveyed so much with his lips and his hands I couldn’t help but want more. For someone who used to be able to go years without sex, I was now obsessed. I had never experienced this kind of want, this kind of physical longing before. I found myself staring at his lips or his big, strong hands without even realizing it.
But we both knew this was pretend. And the more time I spent with him, the more I appreciated his friendship. Despite his grumpy exterior and intimidating presence, he was a big softie who loved his dog and his home. I saw him go out of his way to help his brothers and his parents. He was truly one of the good ones, wrapped in a sexy, broody, tattooed package. And I knew I was lucky to have him in my life, even if he remained fully clothed at all times.
“What’s this?” I asked.
Declan handed me a card and gestured to a large, strangely shaped wrapped gift next to the couch.
“You got me a Valentine?”
He shrugged and looked at his feet. I could tell he was uncomfortable. It was cute. He was so rugged and masculine that this hint of bashfulness was such a turn-on. As was his Binnacle Brewing T-shirt, which was hugging his chest and shoulders in all the right places.
I wondered if he had chest hair. I wanted to rip that shirt off and find out for myself. Focus, Astrid. Focus.
My approach to relationships had always been fairly cautious and boring. I had only slept with a few people, and it was usually after several dates and a lot of time spent figuring out if we were compatible. I had never felt this way with any of the guys I had dated or slept with. I never found myself daydreaming about a man’s body or wanting to rip their clothes off. Declan inspired a curiosity in me that made me feel giddy and embarrassed.
“I feel terrible. I didn’t get you anything.” Was I supposed to get a Valentine’s Day gift for my fake boyfriend? I had no idea. He was so thoughtful and kind. I was a shitty fake girlfriend. If we were really dating, I would just put out to distract him from my lack of a gift, but that was obviously not in the cards given the fake nature of our relationship. We had maintained our rules since the slipup at the Christmas Tree Burn, and I was not going to be the one to screw this up.
