Page 85 of Finding You
“I spoke to the Lieutenant, and he said they will have a court order for the hotel security footage within a day or two and then will contact you for further questioning. He also said you should get a lawyer.”
“I know,” I replied.
He looked so worried. “And I just posted your bail. Sorry this took so long. They had to call in the bail bondsman and it’s late.”
“Don’t worry. I’m fine. I was teaching the other detainees in my holding cell some Krav Maga moves.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Of course you were.”
I was exhausted but adrenalized. It would take a long time to process what had happened tonight, but I was grateful to have Declan by my side.
Declan, on the other hand, seemed weary and shaken. Was he embarrassed to have a potential felon for a girlfriend? Or had something happened after I was arrested? Did my mother say something to him?
I looked up into his big blue eyes. “Take me home.”
We walked out to the car. Declan had thoughtfully checked us out of the hotel and packed up the car. It was like he knew that I would want to go home to Havenport. Huh. Home. It was weird to think about. I hadn’t had a place that felt like home since childhood. And my mother’s house was hardly homey. It was weird to think that a place I had lived for less than three months could be my home, but as I was learning, life was funny sometimes.
As we drove in silence, I replayed the evening’s events over and over in my head. I was not ashamed of what I had done. Yes, I could have just kneed Max in the balls, but fucking up his foot and breaking his nose were really satisfying. That asshole put his hands on me and went too far. And if he did it to me, odds were that he had done it to someone else at some point or would do it again. Maybe that asshole would think twice before hurting or threatening another woman. That alone would be worth the criminal record. I was not ashamed. But these events did not happen in a vacuum. They impacted Declan as well.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him as we cruised up the highway on our way back to Havenport.
“Why are you sorry? I’m sorry,” he said, gripping the steering wheel so tightly I thought it might rip off the dashboard.
“Wait, what? I’m sorry I got arrested. I’m sorry I acted like a WWE wrestler. I’m sure you are embarrassed by my antics.” I shrugged and slumped down farther in the seat.
“Astrid, stop,” he shouted. I was taken aback by his anger. “I am not embarrassed. Are you kidding? I feel ashamed that I wasn’t there to protect you. You are my woman and you needed me and I wasn’t there. The asshole tried to hurt you, Astrid. You have bruises on your neck, for fuck’s sake. And I failed you.”
“How could you think that? I just went to the ladies’ room. There was no way to know that I would be in danger. You were there when I needed you. And you’re here now.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I failed you.”
Now I was getting frustrated. It had been a long night, and this was the last thing I needed. “Stop that shit, Declan. You have done nothing but build me up and help me realize my own strength since the day we met. I had the strength to do what I did tonight because of you. Because you helped me find my inner badass and let her out.”
“You should be thanking Yael for teaching you those moves,” he said.
“And trust me, I will. But you, Declan, you have made me so happy and made me feel so many things. I hate feelings. Truly. But with you, I want to experience things. I want to try things and I want to be the woman you think I can be.” I was crying now, the enormity of tonight overwhelming me.
Declan grasped my hand. “I really am proud of you, killer. You really messed him up. I just wish that hadn’t happened to you.”
I nodded. “Me too.” But since it did happen, I wish I had done worse. I stopped once he was on the ground and not a threat anymore. I should have kept at it and put him in the hospital. Maybe that way he would learn his lesson. I knew I would eventually have to deal with the trauma of being attacked, but for now I was just angry.
“I love you, Astrid. And I want to protect you from everything on earth. I want to wrap you in my arms and make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again.”
“I love you too, Declan. But you can’t do that. It’s not how life works. But I will tell you this, there is nowhere I would rather be than in your arms.”
34
ASTRID
I wokeup Monday morning after a solid twelve hours of sleep in Declan’s bed with Ginger curled up by my side. Declan and I had spent all of Sunday curled up on the couch watching Netflix. He held me when I cried, made me delicious food, and never left my side. I was still bruised and shaken, but I was feeling much better.
I rolled over and saw a note next to the bed.“Had to go to work. Coffee is in the kitchen and my mom dropped off some banana bread for you on the counter. Call me if you need anything at all. I’ll see you tonight. Love, Declan”
I sighed and stretched out in the luxurious bed and looked out at the ocean. Today was a new day. The drama of the weekend was over, and for better or worse, this was a new world.
I had no job. I had no future. And I didn’t even care. I had Declan, I had my friends, and I had closure. Fuck Max Shapiro and fuck Burns & Glenn. That bridge was burned. And I was going to dance on its ashes.
I checked my phone. The girls were all texting about Monday breakfast. I had considered skipping, but I had nothing to be ashamed of. I couldn’t lie around all day waiting for the Boston Police Department to call me and apologize for arresting me, right? Plus, my friends would probably want to hear about the gala and see some photos of my dress.
