Page 86 of Finding You
We had a mimosa toast at Monday breakfast to my kicking ass as I told them all about the ball, how incredible Declan looked in his tux, and the incident with Max. It wasn’t easy to talk about, but they were so kind and supportive, unlike my mother, who watched me get arrested and didn’t even bother to call me. These women had my back, and I loved them for it.
The next few days passed in a pleasant blur. I took walks with Ginger, played with Emily’s kids, and went to Krav Maga class with Nora. At my insistence, she did not brag to Yael about the incident with Max. Sharing with my friends was one thing, but blasting this news out to the entire Havenport community when I hadn’t processed what happened was quite another. I even called Dr. Martha, my former therapist, and set up an appointment with her for the next week. If I was going to move on with my life, process what had happened, and open myself up to what was next, I knew I would need her support. I was feeling ready. Ready for my future, ready for the next chapter.
I spent every single night with Declan. We cooked, made love, and sat by the fire reading together. Wrapped up in his arms I felt safe, I felt loved, I felt cherished. And I knew that this was where I wanted to be forever.
* * *
A few days later, I was walking Ginger when my phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Astrid Wentworth? This is Maria calling from Burns & Glenn. I have John Waterson on the line for you.”
The next thing I knew I heard a click.
“Astrid,” he said jovially, “how are you?”
Considering the last time I had spoken to this man he had told me not to get so emotional, I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Fine,” I said coolly.
“Great. Astrid, there is no easy way to say this. We are very sorry about what happened at the gala. The entire firm is embarrassed by the way that Shapiro behaved.”
“Thank you,” I replied. I didn’t understand. Law firms don’t usually admit mistakes, they just gaslight you into thinking they were right all along.
“And moreover, we regret the mistake we made. The firm leadership put a lot of trust into Max Shapiro and didn’t fully vet the accusations made against him by you and other personnel.”
“That’s obvious. I trust you’ve seen the formal complaints filed by myself and Monica Walsh?”
“Yes. We had an emergency partners’ meeting yesterday, and we are launching a full investigation. I wanted to thank you personally for coming forward.”
I stood in stony silence. We had filed our complaints weeks ago. How could he so casually dismiss the evidence we provided? He didn’t care until the partner in question was arrested for assault and battery.
“As you know,” he continued, “reputation is everything here. And I’m deeply sorry yours was impacted by Max Shapiro’s actions.”
“Thank you.”
“And I want to assure you, Max has been placed on indefinite leave from the firm without pay during the pendency of this investigation. He will not be returning.”
I didn’t care. They deserved each other. I said my piece, I filed my complaint, and offered up the texts, emails, and photos on my phone as evidence. I did my part, and now it was time to move on with my life.
“And I want you to know we have cooperated thoroughly with the Boston Police Department, and I expect the charges against you will be dropped by the end of the week. So we would like you to return to the firm. Preferably at your earliest convenience but we are also willing to give you a few weeks given the recent incident.”
“What?” I was gobsmacked. How was this possible? The Boston Police Department was going to drop the charges against me? Max had been removed from the firm? And they wanted me back at my old job ASAP? This was insane.
“We have had several clients ask for you, Astrid. You have a bright future here. And I know that you have been missed.”
That was horseshit. No one had noticed I was gone. I knew that for a fact. When someone left, the vultures circled to claim their clients, their office, and their secretary. I even saw people pillage a former colleague’s office and steal their legal journals.
I remembered reading an article about climbing Mt. Everest. About how hikers had to pass by the dead bodies of those who didn’t make it on the way up. The atmosphere preserved the bodies, and the altitude made it dangerous to remove them. So hikers literally stepped over the dead and dying on their way to the summit to achieve their goal. That’s what it was like at Burns & Glenn. Stepping over the bodies of your fallen colleagues on the way up. It was every man or woman for themselves. There was no room for compassion, no room for collaboration—only dominance. You could never stop watching your back because someone would take your spot in a heartbeat.
The minute I was gone, Charlotte pounced and took my clients, my secretary, and my place at the firm. It was the way it was there—kill or be killed. What was once totally commonplace and normal for me was now repulsive. The last place I wanted to be was back in that office tower.
My heart sank into my shoes. The thought of going back filled me with such dread. A few short months ago this was my dream come true, but now I couldn’t help but shake the nightmare of returning to my office, to my apartment, to a lifestyle devoid of anything but relentless, thankless work. And if I came back I certainly couldn’t pursue a lawsuit. Yes, they fired Max, but what were they doing to prevent sexual harassment and discrimination? Were the people who covered for him being held accountable? How could I advocate for other vulnerable women if I picked back up where I left off?
“I have a call in five minutes. But you can arrange everything with my secretary. HR will do the rest. Welcome back, Astrid.”
“Wait,” I said.
