Page 64 of Wood Riddance
“You smell good,” she said, nuzzling against my bare chest. We probably should have put clothes on, but since we were likely sleeping here, it didn’t seem pressing.
“Can I ask you some questions?” Her voice was softer than I’d ever heard it.
I pulled her closer, tucking her head under my chin. “I’m an open book, She-Ra. You can ask me anything.”
She pulled in a deep breath, her chest pressing against my side, and dragged one finger along the lines of the tattoo on my left pec for several long seconds before she finally spoke. “I want to know what happened with Alicia.”
The tightness in my chest loosened, and I hummed. This was an easy one. “Alicia and I were both going through shit when we got together. I was stationed in Virginia, alone and settling into life in the Navy, and she was going to law school and struggling to keep up. We’d always been friends. And then we were more.”
I stopped for a moment, letting the sounds of the rain fill the air. Talking to the woman I was obsessed with about the mother of my child was tricky, but this version of Adele, thoughtful and vulnerable and honest, was easy to open up to.
“Those years were really important to me. They always will be. She and I grew up together. Figured out how to be parents, and eventually functioning adults, together too.”
She chuckled.
“And we got Merry out of the deal. But our relationship was never quite right. Neither of us was happy, so we decided to be co-parents and best friends instead.”
“You make it sound so easy. So mature.”
It was not easy. Especially during the first few years after we separated. But I’d gotten lucky with Alicia. Together, we figured our shit out and worked to be the best parents we could be for Merry.
“Eh, we’ve had our moments. But she’s really something. She adores Mike, and he’s perfect for her. They take trips and learn about art and wine and all kinds of stuff that’s never interested me. He’s great with Merry, too, but he’s never overstepped or tried to take my place. He doesn’t try to be her dad.”
“It must be hard to see her moving on.”
“I’m happy for her.” I shrugged. “She deserves the best.” Sometimes, in my lonely moments, I felt guilty for not making it work for Merry’s sake. But the older I got, the more I’d made peace with the way things had played out. Alicia and I weren’t in love. That was okay, and Merry would still have a wonderful childhood with loving parents. Not only that, but now she had another adult in her corner. Three people who loved her unconditionally and always had her back rather than two.
Adele shifted and pulled away. The loss of her hit me immediately. I sat up, trying to pull her back. I needed this. The feel of her in my arms, the smell of her shampoo as I snuggled closer.
But she resisted. Instead, she sat cross-legged, facing me head-on. “Do you still love her?” Her voice was firm, but there was a hint of hesitation there.
“Of course I do,” I said, without missing a beat. “I love her as a friend, as the mother of my child. She’s been by my side through all the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. We support each other and root for each other. I can’t imagine my life without her.”
Her eyes were soft, but the set of her jaw was hard. Damn. She was uncomfortable.
“So yes,” I continued, desperate for her to understand but also adamant about being honest. “I love Alicia deeply. But not in a romantic way. Not in that passionate, can’t-live-without-you way. No, I’ve never experienced that.”
She put her hand on my chest and regarded me. “You’re a good man. I’m sure it will happen someday.”
Ignoring the pit that formed in my stomach, I shrugged. “Maybe not. I had a messed-up childhood, and going to war didn’t exactly help. Now? I’m stuck up in Lovewell, and I have no idea what the future holds.”
She leaned in closer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “You undersell yourself. There’s a lot of potential in here.” She tapped my chest.
The movement made my stomach flip. “If I ever find that special someone, not only will she have to love Merry, but she’ll have to understand that Alicia will always be a part of my life. Forever and ever. We are a family. Me and Merry and Alicia and even Mike. This person has to want to join our weird little family.”
“Anyone would be lucky to join your weird little family.”
I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. The gesture was probably way too familiar and intimate, given that we had been shouting at each other a few hours ago, but it felt right.
When day broke, the storm had passed. The tarp and sleeping bag had made the conditions bearable, but a musty old warehouse during a lightning storm was not exactly luxurious. Still, we’d made it work.
The awkwardness set in the moment we were both awake.
Spending the night wrapped around one another probably had something to do with it. When I’d opened my eyes, her face was on my bare chest, and the tiniest bit of drool had pooled at the corner of her mouth.
Waking up with Adele in my arms was a dream come true. Drool and all. It made sense. It worked. And it felt perfectly natural.
“Before we head out, we should talk about this,” I said gently.
