Page 67 of Wood Riddance
“I love that little pain in the ass,” I said.
“Me too. And you deserve all the love.” She put a hand on my arm and squeezed. “There are so many different kinds. Now that I’ve found Mike, I know how special it can be. I want that for you.”
God, I was lucky. This woman very easily could have chosen to hate me and make my life miserable, but instead, she only wanted the best for me. I had a lot of work to do to be worthy of her and Merry, but she made it all seem within reach.
“I feel like such a fuckup. My family name is mud. And for so long, my identity was tied to the Navy, but now that part of my life is over. And to top it all off, I can’t provide for Merry the way you and Mike do. Look at this house.” I held out an arm and scanned the open-concept space. “Look at the life you’re giving her.”
It only took about two heartbeats to wish I could go back in time and keep my mouth shut. Because I’d laid out every one of my insecurities, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for any more hard truths from my ex-girlfriend.
“Don’t you dare talk to my best friend slash baby daddy that way.” Alicia said, her serious mom voice coming out. “Our daughter is surrounded by loving adults who work their asses off to make her childhood magical. She wants for nothing. You are an amazing dad. Big houses and fancy gifts don’t change that. You, of all people, should know that.”
I nodded. Damn. There it was. The call-out. Growing up, all I got from my dad was material shit. A car, sports camps, random dinners out when he felt like it. He wasn’t there for the hard stuff. He didn’t listen when I needed advice or help with homework.
If I did something special, he’d show up and somehow be sure he took credit for it. He loved when we made him look good, but other than that, he either ignored me or belittled me.
He didn’t speak to me for a full year after I joined the Navy. Told me I was throwing my life away. Little did he know that the Navy was what breathed life into me. My time in the service helped me understand my purpose. I learned how to be a good man because I was surrounded by them there. He sure as shit didn’t teach me about values and honor and selflessness.
“We are a family. A damn good one. We may not be like the rest of town, but who even wants that? You have always been fearless. Going after what you want regardless of what others think about you. It’s one of your best qualities. Being confident in who you are. And I hate to see you like this. Riddled with self-doubt and anxieties. This isn’t you. So if you like this girl, then go after her.”
“I have been.” Since the moment I started at Gagnon Lumber, I’d been going out of my way to spend time with her, watch her, get to know all her quirks. Hell, I’d been doing half of that before her brother hired me. Watching her like a creep at the gym, at the diner, anywhere we’d run into each other.
“Good. So you’re not a total mess. Keep going. Don’t give up.”
“But my dad…”
Her nose flared as she threw up her hands. “You are your own man, Finn Hebert. And you’re the best kind. If she can’t see past your dad, then fuck her.
Chapter21
Adele
Iwas in desperate need of a way to blow off steam. Conflicting emotions were battling within me, pummeling my heart and picking apart my brain. I fought, though, and I fought hard, even knowing that I’d lose this war.
Because my feelings for Finn were big and scary and overwhelming.
And my attempts to shut them down and pack these away neatly, like they were wrenches lined up on precisely labeled shelves, had all been futile.
Sadly, feelings were not tools. They couldn’t be put away and taken out when the job required it. Nope, they floated around all day, disrupting lives and making simple things difficult.
Like sleeping. Hadn’t been doing much of that lately, since I couldn’t stop replaying Finn’s words in my mind. Both the romantic ones and the dirty ones.
That feeling I had always yearned for? Being wanted and desired and craved? I had read about it in books, but I’d thought it a work of fiction.
Turned out it was possible. And it was intoxicating. It could turn an unsuspecting person into a walking sex zombie who couldn’t function in society. I certainly didn’t need the aggravation.
So instead of going to work, which had been my plan, I texted Parker and headed to the gym. She’d kindly picked up He-Man yesterday when I called her from the sat phone, and I owed her big time. I also needed a sanity check. Because not only had I slept with Finn Hebert, but I was finding myself desperate to do it again.
While waiting for her to arrive—she was probably snuggled up with my brother—my phone dinged.
Stretch: Can we talk?
I covered my face with my hands. I could not handle this right now. But apparently, he wasn’t done.
Stretch: I realize that’s a sketchy thing to text. I suck at communicating. What I meant was, I’d like to have an adult conversation about what happened between us.
Stretch: Preferably in person. But no pressure.
I laughed. Now he was being polite? After all the dirty things he’d whispered in my ear last night? After the way he’d manhandled me and doled out more orgasms in one night than I’d had in my previous six-month relationship, I didn’t trust myself to respond.
