Page 92 of Wood Riddance
So far, no one had noticed, but we were only a few feet away. I must not have grabbed them in my panic to answer the door.
I tried to follow the conversation, but the boxers were screaming at me. Over and over again. How had no one else noticed? I was convinced everyone, including my eight-year-old niece, would see them and shame me forever. The floozy aunt who couldn’t keep her panties on around her hot enemy.
A bead of sweat dripped down my spine, and my cheeks hurt from holding a fake smile for what felt like ages while Alice told me about Goldie’s upcoming soccer season. Dammit. I needed everyone out of my house right now.
Because the boxers were like a telltale heart. No heartbeat involved, but a flashing neon sign meant to alert my guests to their presence. Every minute, they got bigger, taking up more space in the room. At this rate, they’d all trip over them on the way to the door and the jig would be up.
“Is that okay, Auntie Adele?”
I blinked, lost as to what Goldie had been asking me.
“Um.”
Alice, ever the kind soul, took pity on me. “In third grade, the class does a unit on careers. Goldie wants you to come and talk to her class about your work.”
“Yes,” Goldie cheered, jumping up and down. “It won’t be right away. But I need to lock it down. Sophie’s dad is a ski instructor, and she thinks she’ssospecial. My mom works at the school. I can’t bring her.” She planted her hands on her hips and popped a sassy little pose. “That’d be lame. And my dad has such a boring job. I want you to come to my class and show everyone I have the coolest aunt.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Of course. Name the day.”
Tucker laughed, tossing He-Man’s toy for him. “It’s months from now.”
“Gotta give her time to plan something cool.” Goldie looked me dead in the eyes.
Shit. Had she noticed the boxers?
“Don’t be boring, okay?”
Letting out a relieved breath, I crossed my heart. “I promise.”
“We should get going. Sorry to intrude,” Alice said, steering her daughter back toward the door and jerking her head to signal to Tucker that it was time to head out.
I walked with them, hoping to God I was blocking their line of sight to the boxers. It was the best I could do. If I picked them up or kicked them, it would be too obvious. Fucking Finn and his underwear. I’d run half marathons and never felt this out of breath. I was clearly in the throes of some kind of underwear-induced cardiac event.
“Thanks for dropping my sweatshirt off,” I chirped, herding them as quickly as I could without physically pushing them to the door.
My stomach unknotted once they’d all stepped over the threshold, and finally, I could pull in a deep breath. I followed them out and waved as they walked toward Henri’s truck. My brother stopped at the edge of the driveway and glanced over his shoulder, still regarding me with suspicion, which wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary. To avoid the scrutiny, I shot him a glare I knew would make him uncomfortable.
I breathed a sigh of relief when he shook his head and finally turned to open the back door for Goldie.
We were in the clear.
But then tiny paws click-clacked on the hardwood floor behind me. And lo and behold, there was He-Man, coming out to say goodbye.
With the boxers clenched between his teeth.
Alice gasped when he came into view. In response to her reaction, Henri turned from where he was getting his daughter settled. In a flash, I picked He-Man up and balled the boxers beneath my arm to keep them concealed.
I hadn’t been quick enough, though, it seemed. Alice had definitely seen them, judging by the look of pure shock on her face.
“Can’t wait to see you at girls’ night on Thursday,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “We havesomuch to talk about.”
Hands shaking, I did the only thing I could think of. I shouted “bye” and then promptly slammed the door shut.
Finn was waiting for me in the kitchen, a murderous scowl firmly in place.
“I’m sorry,” I said, truly feeling awful for forcing him to hide. “I panicked.”
He nodded, taking the boxers out of my hand.
