Page 58 of Caught in the Axe
“If you like each other and are interested in taking the next step, none of that matters, sweetie,” Willa said gently. “From what you’ve said, he’s been a perfect gentleman.”
“Yes,” I hedged. Though I wished he would be a bitlessof a gentleman sometimes.
“And you’ve got time,” Magnolia added, bringing her drink to her lips. As she sipped, she watched us over the rim of her glass, keeping us in suspense in a way only she could pull off. “You aren’t even in your prime yet. I’ve heard mid-to-late thirties is when shit gets good.”
“I don’t know about you girls, but I want it to be good now.” Willa harrumphed.
“You’ve got… uh… Anderson,” I said. I was pretty sure that was the name of her current hookup.
“Eh.” She waved a hand. “I’m not into it anymore.”
“Why?”
“It’s purely a convenience thing.” She blew out a breath, sending the fine hairs around her face floating. “He’s a dorky attending. I’m a dorky attending. We can’t screw our residents, and we don’t ever leave the hospital, so it just made sense to screw each other.”
“Damn, that sounds so unsexy.Grey’s Anatomytaught me that all doctors are super hot and everyone is banging in on-call rooms all the time.”
Willa rolled her eyes. “He’s decent in bed. Not world-rocking, but he gets the job done. He’s a doctor, so he knows where everything is and, while he tends to be a premature ejaculator, he does always get me off first.”
“Wow.” Mags snorted. “You’re talking about sex like you’re preparing a tax return.”
“Hey, we’d all love fireworks and passion every day, but some of us don’t have time for more than a decent, complication-free lay once in a while.” Willa shrugged. “It was good while it lasted.”
“Lila, cover your ears. Don’t listen to Dr. Gloom andDoom over here. The passion and fire are out there. You just have to chase them.”
That was exactly my problem. Theywereout there. I was feeling a lot of passion. And it was inconvenient and confusing.
Sex had always felt transactional. Cole, as imperfect as he was, had always been a gentleman. But I’d always felt like I had to perform. Like sex was for him and not for me.
It was part of my role as a trophy girlfriend. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that outlook was unfair to him. It meant that I never gave him true intimacy. I never spoke up about what I wanted or how I wanted it. Instead, I let him take the lead and played clueless virgin.
And in some ways, I was clueless, but as I got older and more comfortable with my body, I’d suspected I was capable of more. But I was stuck in the mindset that I couldn’t ask him to help me explore what that might entail.
“You know what you need?” Willa asked. “Audiobooks. I’ve got great recs. Get yourself out of your own head and let the sexy vibes flow.”
“You’re a genius.” Magnolia picked up her phone and scrolled. “I’m looking at my Audible library now. Let’s get Sebastian York or Jacob Morgan in your ears. Do that, and you’re guaranteed to find your inner sex goddess.”
“Guys.” I threw myself back against my headboard. “I don’t need motivation.”
I suspected sex with Owen would be a hell of a lot more than fine without additional motivation. If his approach to work was any indication, he was meticulous and thorough. His hands were large and strong, and if I closed my eyes, Icould almost feel the pads of his fingers brushing against my clit.
Shit. I forced my eyes open and sat up straight again. The timing could not be worse.
“There’s also a complication,” I admitted, worrying my bottom lip. “He asked me to come to Boston with him this weekend.”
Magnolia leaped out of her seat and danced around her chair. “Fuck yeah! Our little Lila is getting some.”
“It’s for work,” I explained. “Gus was supposed to go with him, but there was some road issue, and Finn can’t go because Adele is due any day now.”
I’d had to physically restrain myself from pumping my fist when he asked me, and I was still giddy. He’d gone on about how he’d like me to come with him to meet with the new lawyers and how good I was at catching errors and fact-checking. They were minor compliments, but each one made my heart sore. Because he wasn’t blowing smoke. He was impressed with my abilities. This wildly successful, highly intelligent man was impressed by me.
I plucked at my comforter again, lowering my head. “I really like working with him. The respect he shows me is something I don’t think I’ve ever experienced. He asks thoughtful questions, and he always carefully considers my work and opinions.”
He’d trusted me to run with the Deimos Industries research and had let me loose on those bozos in Portland. Every step along the way, we worked as a team. This brilliant, accomplished guy and me, the girl who’d bootstrapped a degree out of community college credits and online courses.
And part of me was afraid of ruining what we had. Because as good as kissing Owen felt, working with him felt better.
Willa waggled her brows. “Damn, girl. He’s attracted to your mind, not just your ass. This work trip would be the perfect opportunity to jump him.”
