Page 90 of Caught in the Axe
I choked back the nerves clawing their way up my throat. “I meant what I said. I needed to see you—I was desperate to see you. You see me. And being with you makes me happy, protected. I’ve tried so hard to fight the pull between us. I’ve tried so hard to be friends and colleagues and nothing more.”
I tucked my chin and searched my coffee for the courage to continue rather than give up and fall into his arms and stay there forever.
“But then you showed up and chopped wood at my house. You took care of me. You got to know my mom. And you show me every day what a kind and compassionate person you are.”
A slow smirk spread across his face. “So you’re telling me this is my fault?”
I crossed my free arm over my chest and huffed, patently ignoring the incredible view of his naked chest. How dare he stand there in his sweatpants and nothing else and smirk at me like that?
“Can you put a shirt on?”
He cocked a brow, and that grin grew. “Why?”
“Because I’m trying to have an adult conversation, and you’re not making it easy.”
He crossed his arms, making his biceps bulge.Fuck me. As if I needed that visual.
“You’re doing great so far. Say what you need to say.”
I paced from the kitchen into the living space, taking a moment to marvel at the view of the mountains while I collected my thoughts. I could do this. I needed to do this.
Honesty. Vulnerability.
But the desire to tell Owen what he wanted to hear wasstrong. The desire to turn this around and make it about him. To hide my messy thoughts and feelings.
Fuck, growth was painful.
“I want to be with you,” I said softly. “I don’t want to fight it anymore. But it can’t last. I know it will hurt when it’s over, but it would hurt more to lose this time with you.”
He ate up the space between us in three long strides and rested his hands on my shoulders. Dipping his chin, he searched my face, his blue eyes burning with intensity. “You keep saying it has to end, yet it hasn’t even begun. Can’t we just see what happens?”
I shook my head, tears welling in my eyes. “Can we just take the time we have and make the most of it? Before you sell the business and go back to Boston and before I start school in New York. Whatever it is, however long we have, let’s take it and cherish it.”
He angled in and kissed my head in response.
It would be so easy to fall into his arms and let him tell me that we could be together forever. But I was no longer the kind of woman who stood on the sidelines, who gave up my dreams so another could pursue their own.
He pulled me in and pressed his lips to the crown of my head. We stayed like that, his arms around my shoulders, our bodies close, for a few moments. Even the silence was comforting when he held me.
“Okay,” he whispered into my hair. “I’ll give you all the time we have left. I respect your wishes. I want you to go to New York. When the time comes, I’ll step aside and cheer for you from the sidelines.”
My gut clenched. He was saying the right words, but they felt wrong.
I looked up at him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. But before I can dive into this completely, I need to know what happened between you and Cole.”
I sucked in a breath, and my stomach twisted. I’d known this was coming. The history between his brother and me was long, so of course he’d need some clarity. But I barely had the words to explain it to myself. And I was protective of him, as well as the version of myself who’d fought like hell to make it work.
Part of me would always love Cole. We’d grown up together. We’d become adults together. Even though those adults were incompatible and had made each other miserable, we’d gone through some of life’s biggest achievements and disappointments together.
I sat on the worn leather couch and pulled my knees up to protect myself from the emotional fallout of his conversation. Owen padded over and draped a blanket around my shoulders before sitting next to me.
“He never cheated on me, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
His eyes widened. “Yeah. I guess I was.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “He’s so much like my dad, self-centered and egotistical.”
“No, Owen.” I frowned. “You are dead wrong.”
