Page 42 of Pain in the Axe
“Which time?” he asked, his tone far too nonchalant after we had spent the night fucking like wild rabbits.
“All of them.”
“Nah. I disagree. By round three, we’d really found our groove. We can build on that. Take things up a notch.” He winked. The man fucking winked.
Why couldn’t he grasp what a terrible idea this had been?
“I’m not interested,” I said, keeping my tone firm even as bile rose in my throat. I had to be strong. “Thanks for helping me blow off some steam.”
Silently, he assessed me. In the morning light, he was so large and powerful. And when he crossed his big arms, I wanted to take it all back and jump into them. Close my eyes and enjoy the sensation of being truly protected from the world.
“It’s better to be up front and honest. I don’t even like you. You’re grumpy and stubborn and set in your ways. We’re different people, and the feelings that once existed are long dead and buried.”
His shoulders slumped, and the gentle grin he’d been wearing was replaced by his usual scowl. Good. I needed him to act like the grumpy asshole I knew he was. Not some irresistible, sleepy sex machine who doled out orgasms on command.
He watched me, silent and confused, as I headed out into the kitchen. Quickly, I found my purse and phone on the island, then headed for the door. Home. I needed to go home and figure out what the hell I’d gotten myself into.
But he wasn’t letting me off the hook that easily.
He followed me, calling my name, hell-bent on having a conversation. As if it was possible to discuss the insanity of last night.
“If this is about what happened between us—”
“Stop.” I held up my hand as I slipped my shoes on. “I don’t want to rehash the past, but just know that I can’t forgive you. I will never forgive you.”
I took a deep breath and continued on, making sure he’d understand. “This isn’t what I want. You’re not what I want.”
He was silent, his big blue eyes so full of hurt. And I knew I had to officially kill whatever this was dead.
“I’m on birth control, by the way,” I said, straightening my spine.
His only response was a nod.
“But now I’ll have to get tested. Who knows what you could have given me.”
His eyes widened, and he took half a step back, clearly shocked by the awful words I was spewing at him. But they did the trick. When he recovered, he stood to his full height, with hands fisted at his sides, radiating pure rage.
“I’m healthy,” he gritted out. “I’ll happily prove it to you.”
As guilt and shame washed through me, I turned away and stepped into the summer sunshine. Car. I needed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the damn car.
He followed me every step of the way, silently brooding.
As I climbed in, he held the door open, and when I was settled, he leaned in so close I was enveloped in the heady mix of pine and sandalwood. God, I hated myself for pouring salt on these old wounds. For hurting him. He didn’t deserve this. But it was the only way I could protect myself.
“You can leave,” he murmured, his voice so low his words were barely audible. “But you need to know that I never got over you. I don’t even want to anymore. You are magnificent and deserve everything.”
My heart thudded and my ears rang. I couldn’t hear this. Not right now. I was too vulnerable.
“I get it. I’m not worthy of you. But I promise, I will be. My life has been upended, and I’ve been forced to face some hard truths. I’m still figuring out who I am and who I’m going to be. But I’m coming for you, Dragonfly. It will take time, work, and sacrifice, but I’m committed. I will make you mine again. This time, for good.”
I gaped at him, certain my heart was about to explode in my chest. He was a liar. I had to remember that. And all the words he’d just poured out were nothing but pretty lies.
“Goodbye, Gus.”
Chapter 12
Gus
