Page 65 of Pain in the Axe
We scrambled to our feet and scanned our surroundings as the noise echoed around us again. A huffing and groaning sound, but low and deep, like the mooing of a cow crossed with a demon’s cry.
Gus, standing rigidly, put an arm out to protect me.
“Do you think it’s a bear?” Despite growing up here and spending my entire life in forests, bears still scared the shit out of me.
“No, unless it’s been shot and is slowly bleeding to death,” he said. “It’s far too…” He trailed off as he looked around. “Unnatural and alarming to be a bear.”
It was louder now, and my stomach churned. What could it be?
Sticking close, we cautiously made our way back toward the house, our heads on swivels, surveying our surroundings.
“Oh shit,” Gus said beside me, beginning to laugh.
“What?” I craned my neck, eyeing the marshland at the edge of my property.
My stomach dropped at the sight. “Oh, sweet Jesus.”
It was a moose.
No. It was two moose. Having some kind of sexual encounter.
Gus’s cheeks flushed as he laughed and laughed. “God, that sound. I’ve never heard it so close up.”
“Gross. It’s truly horrible. Do you think it’s consensual?” I turned my back, laughing so hard at the insanity of the sight that tears streamed down my face.
He cringed. “And, of course, it’s Clive.”
“Clive?”
“Yeah, the bull. He’s infamous.”
“I don’t even wanna know. He’s not, like, the mayor or some stupid small-town mascot, is he?”
“Clive? No fucking way. He’s more like an agent of mayhem.”
“Good, because moose are assholes.”
“Yes, they are.” He grasped my arm gently, forcing me to move toward the house a little faster.
Despite my natural tendency to fight him at every turn, I let him guide me quickly away from the massive creatures fornicating.
“And really dangerous,” he said. “So let’s get inside.”
As we approached the patio, the unnatural honking and groaning growing more distant, I couldn’t stop laughing. It was all so ridiculous. The outdoor sleepover with my ex-husband, my emotional confessions, and now a moose porno on my property.
I clutched my side, sucking in a deep breath. “What a way to start the day. Watching the sunrise on my fortieth birthday with no one but my ex-husband for company, feeling old and exhausted and ruing the fact that I haven’t had decent sex in years.”
“Excuse me?” He crossed those thick arms, making his biceps bulge.
I rolled my eyes. “We’re not talking about that. It didn’t happen.” Maybe it was immature of me, but there was no way I could keep going if I stopped to think about the night we’d spent together. How it hadn’t scratched an itch so much as awakened a deep well of need that I refused to acknowledge.
He quirked an eyebrow, but I kept going, my rant gathering steam.
“The moose are getting laid, and I’m not.” I shook a fist at the sky. “Thanks, Mother Nature, for reminding me that I’m old and washed up and not getting any.”
Gus pulled me to a stop and smiled. God, I hated his smile. The damn thing transformed his face from ruggedly handsome and intimidating to beautiful. White teeth, round cheeks, and little crinkles around his eyes.
Asshole.
