Page 93 of Pain in the Axe
I crossed my arms. “No. Start talking.”
He bit his lip, his focus wandering around the room, clearly debating what to say.
After a long pause, he looked up at me, his face completely serious. “Because I was waiting for you.”
Even as my heart lurched, I pretended to vomit obnoxiously. “Please, you expect me to believe that?”
He hung his head and gave it a shake. “It’s true. It wasn’t even conscious. After we signed the divorce papers, I was sure you’d come back. Waited for you, spinning out elaborate theories about when and how you’d return. Eventually, that faded, and I forced myself to move on.”
That hurt. I’d been with other men, so logically, I knew he’d been with other women. But the thought still enraged me. The feeling that he was mine, that he belonged to me, persisted, despite the decades and distance. I had to keep correcting myself. He’d once belonged to me, yes, but he hadn’t for a long time.
Now, though, it felt like we were back, exactly where we were supposed to be. The ease of our connection, the lack of angst plaguing me, was irritating. I’d spent a lot of time and expended a lot of energy hating him. It had taken far too long, but I’dfinally convinced myself he was a youthful mistake. That I’d imagined our chemistry. That we weren’t compatible and that I was grieving and clung to him as if he were a human emotional life raft instead of an actual partner.
None of the stories I told myself were accurate, and right now, I was being smacked in the face by the cold, hard truth. There was something here. A different kind of connection. One that was more adult and more evolved than what we had shared a long time ago.
And I’d have to manage the connection, the magnetic draw between us, no matter how badly I didn’t want to.
“I could say it’s because I worked too much. Spent all my time in the woods or building my house and not enough time dating, but that would be a lie. In therapy, I’m learning to acknowledge my feelings. And one of the biggest truths I’ve found is that I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
I gasped. Not ready for this level of honesty. Not ready for the emotions his words were unlocking inside me.
He scooted closer to me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I had you. And for a split second, it was perfect. But I was too young and too dumb to figure out how to hold on to you forever. Now, if given the chance, I promise I won’t make that mistake again.”
Maybe it was the stress of the storm or the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was the vulnerability in his eyes. But I believed him.
And then, before I could think better of it. I was kissing him.
Chapter 26
Gus
This.
This was what I’d been craving for so long. The feel of her in my arms, her soft mouth yielding to mine. Her body sagging against me, as if she needed my strength.
I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around me. This moment was different, more significant. We hadn’t been fighting, we’d been talking. And I’d told her things I’d never said out loud before.
Subconsciously, I had been waiting for her. I probably would have waited forever, and while that realization would take a long time to unpack, right now, I was so grateful that I had waited. Because carrying her in my arms like this? It made every sleepless night and moment of aching grief worth it.
“Bedroom?” I asked between frantic kisses.
“To the left,” she said, moving down to kiss my neck and threading her hands through my hair.
I lifted my head to watch my step. With such little lighting, I had to be extra careful not to drop her.
The rain pounded against the wall of windows facing the lake as I laid her down on the bed and braced myself on top of herto capture her mouth again. I couldn’t get enough. It had been weeks since I’d had a taste, and I was desperate for more.
Her little gasps and moans sent heat straight to my groin, and the feel of her hands on me had electricity arcing beneath my skin. She bucked her hips up, reminding me that we were both fully clothed, a situation I intended to fix immediately. It would be so easy to lose myself in her, to forget about all that had come between us, forget about details we had yet to work out.
But I was working hard to do better. So, against every instinct, I pulled away.
Laid out on the bed like this, her hair wild and her lips kiss swollen, she was so beautiful it hurt. The sight of her made it so damn hard not to dive back in, but we needed to clear the air.
“What do you want, Dragonfly?” I asked, already regretting opening my damn mouth. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Can’t we just have hot, filthy sex and worry about the rest later?” she pleaded, her chest heaving.
My cock strained in my pants, clearly agreeing with her solid logic, but I sucked in a breath and garnered all the sense I had. “No. That’s not how this works,” I said. I needed more. I wasn’t in this just to scratch an itch and then remain on the outside of this pregnancy.
