Page 96 of Axe-identally Married
She steepled her fingers like a Bond villain. “Things are moving along.”
“Way to be vague,” Lila complained. “Come on.”
“It’s a massive project. The place has been closed for almost a decade, and it’s probably a terrible investment.”
Lila dipped her head. “But?”
“But I love it.” Magnolia sighed. “It’s old and romantic, and now that this town is slowly growing and evolving, I think it would be a good time to reopen the inn.”
“And so you’re gonna buy it?”
She shrugged. “My lawyers are doing their thing. If I get the price I want, then yes.”
This was so her. Pivot on a whim, throw money around, and push herself into new challenges when she felt like it. I admired the hell out of her bravery, though I couldn’t help the flicker of jealousy that flared once in a while. My future had been so set, so certain. I didn’t have the luxury of trying something new because I felt like it.
My mind spiraled back to work and the need for help. Could I sustain my current pace for the next few decades? Probably not. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, anyway.
“Everything okay at work?” Lila asked gently, pausing the TV. It was the reaping, and we always shouted “I volunteer as tribute” together. It was tradition.
“Yes and no. I’m doing okay, but I know there’s a better way. In Baltimore, community health clinics were open seven days a week, had all kinds of services, and employed different types of providers. I look at my dad and what happened to him, and I can’t help but wish for that type of practice. Where I had support and my patients had a broader spectrum of care.”
“How can we help?” Magnolia asked.
I shrugged. “Know any nurse practitioners who want to move to rural Maine? What about clinical social workers? Ultrasound techs? Phlebotomists? This area is ridiculously short on medical personnel, and rural hospitals and clinics keep shutting down.”
I pulled my hair back and sighed. “It’s a struggle to fit in exercise, six hours of sleep, and moderately healthy eating most days, and I’m only doing all of that because of Cole.”
It hit me hard then that I’d be a mess without him. He’d gently helped me get healthier and make more time for rest and fun, and he’d inspired me to come home earlier instead of spending all night in the office, catching up on paperwork.
I was stronger, fitter, and laughed more than I had in years.
“You want more,” Lila said softly.
“What do you mean?”
She scooted over and put her arm around me. “We’ve watched you push yourself with single-minded determination since we were kids. Being a doctor has always been your calling. Maybe even an obsession. I envied you so much for a long time. You knew who you were and what you were going to do with your life.”
“I was so jealous of you,” Magnolia admitted, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “You are the most driven person I know.”
Tears stung my eyes as I looked from one friend to the other. God, they were the best.
“But you’re in love,” Lila said, giving me a squeeze. “It’s okay to want more—more time, more experiences, more people to love. I felt the same thing. That’s how I knew I was in love with Owen. I wanted my life to expand. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be single-minded anymore. I was ready to make room for more people, experiences, and love.”
Now I was fully crying.
And I wasn’t the only one.
Magnolia sat on the other side of me and wrapped her long arms around both of us.
“Guys, we’re growing,” she said with a sniffle. “And there is no reason we can’t all achieve our dreams.”
We sat on the couch huddled together for a while before turning off the movie. Magnolia made tea, and we talked through our various challenges. Lila shared her struggles with balancing her course load with her growing responsibilities at the foundation where she worked. Magnolia worried about her event planning business and how the hell she’d figure out how to be a rural innkeeper.
The three of us did what we’d been doing since we were kids. We worked it out together. We brainstormed, made suggestions, conducted random Google searches, and laughed as we dug deep.
My heart ached the whole time. I’d missed this so much. This was what I’d looked forward to during those long hours in residency. This was why I’d wanted to move to New York so badly, to experience life with these two extraordinary women by my side.
But these women were no longer all I needed. Now, I craved the comfort and presence of someone else.
