Page 1 of Axe Backwards
Chapter 1
Victoria
“Did you hear me?”
Pulse quickening, I surveyed the coffee shop, wishing the reclaimed oak floors would open up and swallow me whole.
“Memorial Day.”
Panic was settling in. This had to be a hallucination. I didn’t sleep much these days, and to make matters worse, the people who’d moved into the apartment above mine had been making an unholy racket last night, making it impossible to get even my usual three or four hours.
I grasped the top of the cute wooden booth, steadying myself. The Caffeinated Moose was a hipster coffee shop that had opened about a year ago. While I’d worried at first that our little logging community might not welcome exposed ductwork and six-dollar lattes, the place had been steadily busy since opening day.
Raeanna had a handful of employees these days, and they almost always sold out of their signature blueberry lemon scones by nine.
I’d stopped here for a good-luck Americano before my meeting, but clearly, it had done me no good.
“I’m pregnant,” she repeated, her voice high-pitched and defiant.
“Congrats,” I blurted out as tears stung my eyes and my throat tightened.
She was speaking, but I was too intent on remaining conscious to process her words.
This could not be happening. Not today.
My brain flooded with the all-consuming guilt I’d worked so hard to heal from. The constant barrage of questions and concern, friends holding their babies and saying “you’re next!” and well-meaning relatives questioning why we hadn’t started a family yet.
Alexandra babbled on about her due date. In winter maybe? Then she made a comment about our mother. Another regarding her wedding, which she’d been talking about for months. My mind could not process any of it.
My body was broken. Unable to fulfill its purpose. And now she was pregnant?
Did she really have to tell me thistodayof all days?
“I’m walking into a meeting.” My words were curt, but it was all I could muster. “Can I call you back later?”
She continued speaking, but I didn’t register anything. Not when my world was collapsing around me. I pushed my way through the busy morning crowd and into the bathroom.
The old dead bolt was brass and heavy, but I managed to get it to turn. Once I was safely ensconced and alone, I cried. I didn’t outright sob. No, I’d save that for later. For now, I let the tears flow, knowing that holding them back would only hurt more.
Alexandra and Graham were having a baby.
Together.
My baby sister.
And my ex-husband.
I flattened a hand against the wall to brace myself, willing my lungs to take in oxygen.
Breathe. Just breathe.
In my experience, when a day starts out this badly, it’ll only get worse. Even a minor inconvenience can quickly spiral into full-blown disaster with the right set of circumstances.
I closed my eyes, focusing on nothing but my breath. There was time to be angry and hurt and betrayed. So much time for that.
Later.Right now, I was in public, and I was scheduled to attend an important meeting in fifteen minutes.
So I took ten cleansing breaths and then rooted around in my purse for the mascara and lip gloss I kept for emergencies.
