Page 11 of Axe Backwards
The question was a simple one, but the answer was incredibly complex.
“Thanks, but we’re good. I’ll walk more softly.”
Head tilted, she assessed me. “You haven’t sleep trained.”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” I gritted out, the words causing Tess to stir, “but no, and I’m not gonna.” With that, I turned and padded toward the window.
“Okay.” She appeared beside me and stroked Tess’s back. “I’m not judging. I couldn’t let a baby scream either.”
I looked at her kind, concerned face and let out a sigh. “She’s not my biological daughter.” The last thing I wanted to do was explain all the details. “I’m her guardian. Well,I was appointed her legal guardian, and now I’m midway through the process of adopting her. It’s complicated.”
She nodded, saying nothing, just rubbing soft circles on Tess’s back. She looked up at me. “You’re a natural,” she said softly.
For reasons unknown, those words were exactly what I needed in that moment.
“Thank you.”
My body lit up in an unfamiliar way at her proximity, but I pushed the sensation down.
“She’s beautiful,”she said, her voice soft.
With a whimper, Tess picked her head up off my shoulder. But a second later, she burrowed into me again, never opening her eyes. “How old?”
“Ten months,” I said. “She’s a peanut.”
“May I hold her?” She extended her arms. “I can walk a few laps for you.”
A pang of guilt hit me. It was two a.m.
I could barely stand, and I’d known this woman basically all my life. Though not well, admittedly. Either way, she didn’t look like a kidnapper or a predator. And I’d be right here if she wanted to hold her. What was the harm?
I unwrapped the long piece of fabric holding Tess to my chest and handed her over gently. She stirred, letting out a small cry. Heart in my throat, I was ready to pull her back in, but before I could, Victoria brought her to her chest, bouncing and swaying like a professional.
She walked slowly, speaking softly, and Tess eased her head onto my neighbor’s shoulder and closed her eyes.
My baby girl wasn’t used to being held by anyone but me. It had even taken time for her to warm up to my mom, who was an absolute pro. As I watched this easy interaction, I couldn’t help but feel slightly betrayed.
That emotion vanished quickly, though, when I took a moment to really look at the two of them.
With Tess in her arms, Vic transformed. Her eyes softened, and so did her tone, as she glided around my apartment. She wasn’t angry or impatient, despite how late it was.
“Don’t just stare at me,” she hissed, keeping her voice low. “Sleep.”
“But—”
She shook her head. “Lie on the couch and close your eyes for an hour. I’ll keep her asleep. You clearly need rest.”
The gnawing guilt was back. “But what about you?”
“I don’t sleep much.” She waved me off, then resumed gently rubbing Tess’s back. “Sleep.”
Dubious, I stretched out on the small couch. My legs hung over one of the arms, but I was too tired to care. I’d slept in farmore uncomfortable places. This was one of my superpowers. The ability to sleep anywhere and function on nothing more than a power nap.
So I lay there, watching the scene in front of me. Terrified to close my eyes.
But I didn’t have a choice. My brain was barely functioning. Would it really do any harm to drift off for a few minutes?
We were in my apartment. Tess was happily asleep. And I knew this woman. I’d just close my eyes for a little bit.
