Page 118 of Axe Backwards
I’d never belonged anywhere. I went where I was needed and did my job. I was the guy who could rappel out of a helicopter to help a person in need.
But it wasn’t bravery that allowed me to do it. It was the ability to compartmentalize. To turn off parts of my brain that experienced fear.
And that was only possible because, until recently, I’d no attachments.
There hadn’t been a person waiting for me at home who would be heartbroken if I never returned. Sure, Jude and my mom would be devastated. My other brothers too. Maybe. But I’d kept my distance for a reason.
I’d built my life around the idea that no one depended on me.
That fact—and the freedom it allowed—was the foundation on which I’d built my career. It’s what enabled me to do the job.
But everything had changed when Jack and Emily died. And in the time since, I’d changed too.
These days, I wanted attachments. I wanted to belong to Tess and to Vic and even to this weird little town.
I wanted to go to work, where I could help people, then come home to my family each night. I longed to spend time with my brothers on the weekends. Maybe I’d even pick up wood chopping as a hobby. The life I’d run away from, the life I’d worked so hard to avoid, now felt like the one thing that could save Tess and me.
But even if I could obtain it, how could I avoid screwing it up?
Chapter 39
Noah
“Ican’t believe I agreed to this.”
Vic patted my cheek. “You’re going to do so well.”
It was after midnight before we fell into bed last night. The festivities had gone late, and there were events to prep and arrangements to be made before the second day of the festival.
Vic had been going nonstop, but she handled it all with ease and a smile.
We stood side by side, nursing coffees, while the chained logs were set up for the boom races. There was a smaller, shallower course for kids, but this was the main event.
There were eight logs, each around twenty feet long, chained together between the dock and a floating swim platform. We’d run across them and back without falling into the water as they dipped and spun beneath our feet.
It looked like fun, but if I fell ass over teakettle into the lake, my brothers would never let me live it down.
Vic rested her head on my shoulder.
“I still can’t believe how well yesterday went. It still feels like a dream.”
I hummed. “The number of donations was wild.”
She buried her face in my neck and inhaled. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think we could raise this kind of money. Remy Gagnon signed autographs for hours. People were practically throwing money at me. First thing Monday morning, I’m placing a huge order of diapers, vitamins, and meat. All the good stuff.”
With a smile, I dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m proud of you.”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t my doing, really. Be proud of the town. And thank freaking Remy Gagnon.”
I grasped her upper arms and pulled her back so she was forced to look at me. “Don’t do that. Don’t minimize your accomplishments. You’re creative and passionate and you work so damn hard.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “Want to know what’s sad? Yes, I am proud. But I still want my mom to see this. I want my parents to see what I’ve done and be proud of me too.”
My heart cracked wide open for her. I’d only been a parent for a year, but I couldn’t imagine turning my back on Tess or belittling her the way Vic’s parents did.
Every comment, every snub, hurt Vic. The worst part was that it would only take the smallest, blandest compliment to appease her. She wanted so badly to share her passion with her family.
“They are coming, right?”
