Page 16 of Axe Backwards
“Jesus.”
“Yup. Rather than a few months, we’ve got a few weeks.”
“Gimme my drink back.” She took the glass from me and downed its contents in one gulp. “You gonna be okay?”
I shrugged. “I feel like shit right now, but eventually I’ll be okay.”
Graham had done me a favor. The countless faceless women he’d met on Tinder had done me a favor.
Though I could have done without the chlamydia.
But antibiotics did the trick. Thank you, science.
All of it had given me the strength to leave. I should have done it long before, but I’d been programmed to keep calm and smile and do all I could to preserve the happy façade I hid behind. From a young age, my parents had taught me appearances were all that mattered.
Aunt Lou got up and returned with a container of cookies-and-cream ice cream and two spoons. For as long as I could remember, she had kept a carton in her freezer for me.
It’s because of her that I finally got out. Because she’d provided counterprogramming to my parents’ toxic messaging, she’d helped me figure out who I was and what I wanted.
Graham was a lawyer and philanthropist. My parents were obsessed with him. He checked every box.
Knew all the right people. Had played lacrosse in prep school.
He was the kind of guy who owned his own tuxedo.
He played golf with the deputy mayor.
He was ambitious and driven, and together, we built what looked like a dream life. High-powered careers, exotic travel, an expensive condo with ocean views, and elite social events.
But day by day, I disappeared.
He didn’t like to be inconvenienced, so I learned to be small, to not take up too much space, and not to have too many opinions.
So when he worked late, I didn’t question it. If I did, he’d fault me for being controlling or demanding. I forced myself to accept that he was important and successful. I lived in a state of denial, sitting alone in our overpriced condo, reading the boring ass nonfiction books he’d buy for me while he was out fucking half of Boston.
“I love you, kid.” Lou chased a bite of ice cream with a sip of whiskey. “I see how strong and generous and amazing you are. Even if those dumb fucks don’t.”
Tears stung at the backs of my eyes. After all the work I’d done on myself, I had to go watch my baby sister marry my ex-husband while pregnant with his child.
I’d worked so hard to heal, to rebuild my life, to find my passion and make new friends, only to end up being the sad, barren spinster at Perfect Princess Alexandra’s wedding.
I put my head in my hands and cried.
Lou draped one thin arm around me and pulled me close. “I know this seems epically shitty, but I promise, the universe has good things waiting for you.”
All I could do was sob in response.
“It’s okay. Let it out. Cry and rage. Do whatever you need to do. Because you are going to that wedding, and you are going to look beautiful and unbothered. You hear me?”
I nodded. There was no way that was happening, but I didn’t have the strength to argue.
“Do you think Chris Evans is free? You need a hot date.”
A hiccup of a laugh escaped me. “He just got married.”
“Aw, fuck. I was holding out hope he’d drive up from Massachusetts, fall in love with you, and then introduce me to Robert Downey Jr.”
Though the tears continued to fall, I couldn’t help but grin. God, I loved her.
