Page 49 of Axe Backwards
Noah retrieved the snowman stuffy from the couch and brought it over. She practically lunged for it, and when she had it in her arms, she cuddled it close, tucking it beneath her chin. There it repeated several unsettling phrases.
With a step back, Noah put his hands on his hips. “I have my mom to thank for that one.”
“The voice,” I whispered as Tess got comfortable. “It’s unnerving.”
He nodded. “Yup. It was driving me insane, so I hid it. But Tess screamed for an hour. She’s obsessed with the damn thing.”
Eventually she settled, and while I wandered the apartment, soothing her, Noah made a cup of tea for me.
“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked as he set the mug on the end table.
I settled on the couch and shifted Tess so I could hold her with one arm. No, I did not. The thought of rehashing the Denis debacle made me want to vomit, so I pivoted.
“Think we should talk about…” I inhaled, looking into those deep blue eyes, garnering my nerve. “This fake dating arrangement?”
“Sure, what’s up?” He arched a brow. “Like I said, I’m all in, whatever you need. Tess and I are on the case.”
I shifted so I was facing him. Why did this feel so strange? Noah was my friend. I could be honest with him. I’d just let the guy braid my hair, for God’s sake.
“Don’t you think we need rules?”
“If you want ’em, sure. Let’s make ’em. But I’ll warn you. I’m not great with rules. Reminds me too much of school. I prefer to feel things out.”
God, he was exasperating sometimes. I tensed, causing Tess to stir. “You can’t feel me out.”
He raised one brow and burst into laughter.
“Perfect example. Rule number one,” I said. “Don’t flirt with me. You do it all the time.”
He shuffled to the doorframe and stretched lazily, like this wasn’t the world’s most painful conversation.
“There’s baby drool on my shirt and probably in my hair,” he said. “I can’t flirt.”
“Bullshit. You could flirt covered in moose shit. You’re doing it right now. Are you flexing?”
“Yes,” he admitted easily.
This man. He was shameless. Normally I enjoyed a bit of light flirting, but if this was going to work, we had to create clear boundaries.
Despite the way my body temperature rose, I affected a chastising expression. “Stop it.”
“I can’t.” He shrugged, still gripping the top of the doorframe. The move caused his T-shirt to ride up and expose a strip of taut abdomen. “It’s involuntary. Like a muscle spasm. It’s my natural reaction when a hot woman yells at me. You’re lucky I don’t have a boner.”
“Ugh, stop it.” I slumped against the couch, silently praying he couldn’t make out the way my cheeks were flushing. “Never say boner in my presence again. What is wrong with you?”
He chuckled. “Sass is a big turn-on for me.”
“Stop talking about turn-ons.” I wanted to rip my hair out.
“You’re my friend. I thought we promised to be honest with each other.”
“Yes.” I sighed. “But let’s stick to normal stuff. I don’t care about your dick.”
“It’s an important part of me, Vic.” He was grinning from ear to ear.
He was lucky I was holding a sleeping baby and a creepy Olaf doll. Otherwise, I’d slap him.
“As my fake girlfriend, you should care.”
