Page 85 of Axe Backwards
Oh God. My face was heating again.
“Look at her,” Becca said. “She’s having a sex flashback. I’m calling it right now—wedding in a year.”
I frowned and my stomach sank a little. “You know I hate the institution of marriage. I’m having a lot of fun. But this isn’t serious. He’s got a lot on his plate and a lot of plans to work out. And since my divorce, I’m far too broken to be a good partner to anyone.”
Both my friends leveled me with glares.
“Broken?”
“Da fuck?”
Becca shook her head. “No. Alice, please tell her how fucking wrong she is before I slap her.”
Alice pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were sharp. “You are not broken. Sure, maybe you have a few dents. We all do, but you’re stronger for it. And I’m telling you right now, we won’t let you self-sabotage.”
As much as I wanted to argue with her, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection.
“This is all part of the magic,” she explained. “Helping to repair the cracks in one another. Healing is a hell of a lot more fun with a supportive partner by your side.”
“You’re rocking his baby in the middle of the night,” Becca added. “Think about how special that is. The kind of bond you have. It’s the kind that transcends friendship.”
“There is no rush,” Alice said. “Go slow, enjoy yourself, but don’t write this off or sabotage it because of all the shit Graham put you through.”
“Guys.” As much as I wanted to give in and gush with them, dread had seeped into me and was slowly rising like a flood. “I can’t do it again. I can’t take the risk and live with the fallout.”
“You already have,” Alice said gently. “You’re falling in love with him. Rather than fight it, accept the risk and do it anyway.”
Shit. Was she right? Was I falling in love with Noah? My heart ached at the idea.
“I’m scared.” My words were barely a whisper. I was already in so deep. Noah and Tess had carved out a place for themselves in my heart. Losing them would hurt so much more than Graham’s betrayal.
Tears pricked at my eyes, and before the first could escape, I was crushed by hugs.
“You’ll find a way.” Alice held me tight. “It’s gonna look different from what you expected, but isn’t that the whole point?”
Becca stroked my hair. “Life is full of surprises. Good things are coming.”
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. Maybe my friends were right. Maybe I was capable of more than I gave myself credit for.
Chapter 27
Noah
Iwas in trouble. Huge trouble. So I went to the one person I could trust with this information. The one person I could trust to give me the hard truth.
Jude answered the door, Ripley at his heels, and sighed. “Here for confession?” Before I could respond, he took Tess from me and hugged her close. “Hello, beautiful,” he said in a singsongy voice. “What did your daddy do now?”
With a grunt, I stepped inside. Ripley sat at my feet, tongue out and panting, so I crouched and gave her some love. By the time I stood, Jude and Tess had already disappeared.
“I brought scones and coffee,” I said, holding up the tray from the Caffeinated Moose.
He ignored me. He’d put on a record and was dancing around the living room to Prince with my daughter. That was so Jude, using music to avoid having a conversation.
My avoidance mechanisms tended more toward bungee jumping or backcountry treks, but I understood the urge to steer clear of uncomfortable feelings.
I sipped my coffee, admiring how organized every aspect of Jude’s house was. Eventually, Tess wiggled her way out of hisarms and scooted into the kitchen, then pulled the pots and pans out of his cabinets and banged them together, which freed Jude up to listen to me.
“What’s with the grin?” Eyes narrowed, he took a tentative bite of a maple walnut scone.
