Page 97 of Axe Backwards
We stood in the dark, the moonlight shining through the bay window, eating ice cream and laughing. Revisiting our busy weekend and how sore my arms were from hauling so much plywood. I would head to Greenville tomorrow with the food pantry van to pick up our flock of hens.
We were joking about the logistics of transporting thirty-eight chickens when he suddenly went serious.
“You okay?” I gave him a gentle hip check.
He set his ice cream on the counter and stabbed the spoon into it, his expression troubled. “I need to say something.”
“Okay.” I braced myself, heart sinking. Was he asking me to leave? Had we gone too far tonight? Was he ready to end things?
“We’re friends first, and friends are honest with one another, right?”
With a nod, I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
He dipped his chin resolutely and blew out a breath. “I’ve fallen for you a little more every day since I rescued you from the coffee shop bathroom. You’ve become my best friend. And I don’t want to lose you.”
I gasped.
“I’m tired of lying to myself. I care about you. So much. You’ve seen me at my worst, yet you keep showing up. And I trust you with my life. I trust you with my daughter’s life.”
My mind whirled. I cared about him too. So much it frightened me. The feelings I had for him were growing bigger and more unmanageable every day. He was Noah. My neighbor. The sweet goofball who did pushups during TV shows. Tess’s doting dad, who owned seven baby carriers because he never wanted to put her down.
The risk was so great. I couldn’t lose him. For two years, I’d worked to put myself back together, piece by tiny piece. I couldn’t jump into a relationship. It would be reckless.
But our connection was strong. We were tethered. It was impossible to fight the pull to be with him all the time.
I cleared my throat. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want to do this right. Date for real. See where it goes.”
My throat tightened, making it hard to breathe. I should be elated. I was crazy about him. But the pressure was too much. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I screwed everything up?
I froze, and after an excruciating moment of silence, I forced myself to be honest with him. “I need more time.”
His eyes went wide like he’d been slapped.
“That came out wrong,” I scrambled to say. “I want to see where things go too, but I’m all fucked up. Between my divorce and work, I worry I can’t be what you need.”
Shoulders relaxing, he stepped in close. “You don’t have to be anything other than Vic, the beautiful, smart, kind woman who lives downstairs and took pity on me when I couldn’t get my baby to sleep.” He gently kissed my forehead. “I have no idea what the future holds, or even if Tess and I will stay in Lovewell long term, but I want to be with you while I can.”
I nodded, chest aching. I wanted so many things. But did I deserve them? Did I deserve the man who was standing in front of me in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs, declaring his feelings for me?
“Will you dance with me?”
My heart stuttered.Dance?“Here?”
He nodded. “Our dance at your sister’s wedding was tense and forced. I need to collect my thoughts. And the only time my mind is clear and focused is when you’re in my arms.”
He held out a hand.
How could I possibly resist? I nodded.
He pulled me into his chest with one hand and tapped at his phone screen with the other.
As the music began to play softly, I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Wait,” I said, pulling back so I could look at him. “Is this…?”
“‘Love is Like a Butterfly’? Yup,” he said. “Lou told me it was your favorite.”
