Page 81 of Axe-ing for Trouble
He locked those dark blue eyes on mine, his jaw clenching, like he was holding something back. “I wish I knew how. But I’ve missed some things. I was so concerned with making my life safe and predictable that I missed out on the magic. And the thing about magic? Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.”
The weight of his admission hung in the air between us. Playing his words over in my mind, I sagged against him, drawing on his strength and warmth. His masculine smell, the delicious meals he made me, his sweet dog, and his comfy bed all comforted me. I’d been on my own for so long, but my life had changed so much in these last few weeks. And it was all because of Jude.
I wanted him to have everything he desired, all the magic he could wring out of life. But I feared that, like me, it would be out of his reach.
I closed my eyes, and a deep sense of peace settled in my chest. I should have been panicking and researching. But for what might have been the first time in my life, I wanted to sit still. I wanted to enjoy the magic of this moment for just a little longer.
Chapter26
Jude
“You smell good,” Mila said, resting her head on my chest. I considered pressing my lips to her crown but decided against it. We were in a strange holding pattern that included physical affection. But she’d been clear about her boundaries. And I’d been all up in my head over them.
Because Mila made me feel things and want things that were completely off-limits.
She’d fallen asleep on my chest on the couch, and holding her like that, absorbing all her anxiety and worries, had been heaven. But it was getting late.
She rubbed her eyes and straightened beside me. “How long did I nap for?”
I fought the urge to pull her back into my side. “About an hour.”
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t mind.”
We stared at one another for a moment, the air heavy between us. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, and make all her problems go away. But the last thing she needed was to be pressured. We had no idea what tomorrow would bring, so even if she wanted more, making plans was stupid.
“I’ve got to jump in the shower.” I stood and backed away.
She was still adorably sleepy, and her hair was stuck to one side of her head. “Where are you headed?”
“The Moose,” I replied. “Playing a gig.”
“Oh.” Her face fell in the strangest way, going from peaceful to annoyed in a flash.
“You okay?” I asked.
Was she hurt?
She shook her head. “Sure, I didn’t realize you had to go out.”
“Yeah, we play there about once a month. Sometimes we pick up other gigs. It’s a hobby for us all, and we have several subs on standby if someone can’t make it. But I committed to this a while ago.”
“Okay, great.” She gave me a smile, but it was forced. “I’ll feed Ripley and let her out. Go do your thing.” She avoided my eye as she headed toward the kitchen.
As I headed to the bathroom, she stomped around the kitchen, slamming cabinet doors.
Each loud noise worsened the dread in my gut. But I didn’t have time to dissect what was going on. Not right now. I’d made a commitment, and I couldn’t let the guys down.
I showered and dressed, and while I loaded my equipment into my trunk, Mila sat in the kitchen, drinking tea, staring off into space.
Part of me wanted to jump in my car and avoid the awkwardness, but guilt kept me from my cowardly escape. She was stuck here; she had no one else to talk to. I wasn’t a great talker, but at least I was someone.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, walking softly into the kitchen. “You seem upset.”
“I don’t know.” Head bowed, she worried her lower lip. “I’m mad, and I don’t know why. Ugh. I sound like a toddler.”
“Is it because I’m going out? If you don’t feel safe here—”
