Page 83 of Axe-ing for Trouble
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes I do. Even if we hadn’t gotten physical, keeping you safe is my top priority. And I’m not some horn dog, for God’s sake. I can keep it in my pants. Even though you called me… what was it? ‘Sluttier than a pair of gray sweatpants’?”
Two red patches bloomed on her fair cheeks.
“Regardless of what you think,” I went on. “I’m not. I have no intention of looking at or talking to anyone tonight. I’ll play, hang with my brothers and sisters-in-law, have exactly one beer, and then come straight home to you.”
She nodded, her face still red, her gaze lowered.
“And when I come home,” I growled, tipping her chin up. “Then you’ll get all my attention.” Angling in, I captured her mouth in a rough kiss.
She kissed me back, cuffing the back of my neck, making sure I knew that she’d be waiting.
Her jealousy was hot. Totally unwarranted, but hot, nonetheless. As if I could even look at another woman. Mila occupied every one of my waking thoughts and a good percentage of my dreams. She didn’t know it, but I’d be counting down the minutes until I could come back home to her.
Chapter27
Mila
Iwas an independent, badass woman who never waited for a man.
Except tonight. Tonight I waited for a man.
First I paced.
Then I snacked. But a girl can only take so many kelp crispies and raw almonds before giving up. I couldn’t even properly eat my feelings in this house.
Finally, I got back to work, double- and triple-checking all the information I’d gathered and organizing my evidence wall—or “murder wall,” as Jude affectionately referred to it.
I couldn’t afford to miss a single detail here.
But my mind kept wandering to Jude. To what songs his band was playing. To how big the crowd might have been.
And despite my efforts to keep it at bay, sadness washed over me.
Envy.
I was missing out.
I’d lived in an obsessive bubble for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to go out and have fun. To listen to music and sip a cold beer and let go for a couple of hours. Not that I’d ever done much of it. Since childhood, I’d been focused, driven. I’d never really let anything get in the way of my goals.
Including friendships, relationships, hobbies, and fun.
I sat on the couch, hit by the weight of it all. It settled over me, pushing me into the cushions. Ripley was by my side immediately, sensing that I needed canine support. And all of a sudden, I was hit with a rush of wanting.
It wasn’t specific, this type of want. It was big and unwieldy and hard to wrap my mind around. I wanted companionshipandaffectionandsex. I wanted friends and weekend cookouts and hikes and nights out at the dive bar where I could watch a sexy guy play guitar.
I’d missed out on a whole life. First by focusing solely on my career, putting my commitment to journalism above my own fulfillment. And now, by allowing myself to be completely consumed by the search for the people who’d harmed Hugo.
No wonder it had been so easy for me to slip into the role of a fictional person, to become Amy. Mila was never a complete person to begin with.
I was dangerously close to falling into the emotional black hole that had opened up before me when Ripley perked up and wagged her tail. Head tilted, I listened closely, and sure enough, I caught the faint sound of an engine.
Like I’d been conditioned, excitement bubbled inside me.
Jude walked in, looking more handsome than when he’d left. It was some kind of superpower that should be studied by scientists.
“Miss me, Trouble?” He set a small amp on the floor, then rested his guitar case against the wall.
