Page 10 of Guarding Our Love
I didn’t hear the end of it when I messed things up with Sloan. My parents loved her, but I think my grandfather loved her even more. He wanted me to marry her, and I thought I would have to, but it was hard turning down all the pussy that was thrown my way. It was dumb of me, and I lived with that for a long time. I thought about her over the years but never bothered to look for her. I knew if I ever came to Sloan again, I would have to come correct. She wasn’t one I could bullshit around with or just use for sex. She wanted to be a wife, and if I couldn’t make her one, I had no business trying to talk to her. Sloan wasn’t one to waste her time on anyone. It didn’t matter how much she cared. She always put herself first. I admired that about her. She knew what she wanted and wouldn’t settle for less.
I had the urge to look Sloan up after seeing her, but I decided not to. I wanted her to tell me whatever it was she wanted me to know about her life.
“I’m not trying to disrupt Sloan’s life. I’m not even in the position to do that. I may deal with multiple women, but theyall know what it is, and every last one of them is a willing participant. I’m not trying to break up anyone’s happy home.”
I didn’t know if Sloan’s home was happy or not, but I wouldn’t be the cause of it going south if it was. I did want to be her friend again. It was hard making friends these days because of my status. Sloan was a good friend of mine, and I missed her friendship.
I still remember the day we met. It was sophomore year, and we ended up in the same gym class. She hated the days when we had to play basketball, but that was my favorite day. One day, our teacher made us play together against two of our classmates. Sloan was terrible, but I encouraged her as best as I could. Her shots were off, but we still managed to win the game thanks to me. After that day, Sloan and I would team up whenever we had to have partners in gym class. I would talk to her about how I was going to play professional basketball, and she told me her dreams of being a social worker. I thought she would have worked with children, but I was proud of her for achieving her dreams.
Sloan was the only girl I dealt with who didn’t try to stick around because I would be rich one day. She believed in me and genuinely cared about me. She was there for me when my grandmother died. There was a time I injured myself, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to play again, and Sloan was there to push me through it. We were only together for a couple of years, but it was long enough for me to love her. And I fucked all of that up for nothing.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about her since she walked out of the room the day before. It was like all the feelings I had for her suddenly resurfaced. It made me think about the shit I was doing and was it worth it all? Not only did I lose Sloan, but I was lonely sometimes. I never admitted it to anyone, but I was. It wasn’t easy letting women in because I knew the type of grimy shit theydid. I saw it happen to some of my teammates and other dudes in the league. I did have a chick try to pin a baby on before, but that shit wasn’t true. One thing I didn’t do was fuck these chicks raw. I refused to have a baby by a random.
“Well, you may not be trying to break up her home, but I saw that look in your eyes. If you had the opportunity to make something happen, you would.”
My grandfather’s voice brought me out of my thoughts of Sloan.
“I’m good,” I told him, but I was lying. If given the opportunity with Sloan again, I would take it, and this time, it wouldn’t be any fumbling.
“Okay, Calil. I know I can’t tell you what to do, but I want you to always be careful. Messing with a married woman can get you into a lot of trouble and get your feelings hurt.”
“I won’t do anything stupid. Trust me.”
I checked the time on my watch. Since Grandpop was good, I would head to practice. It was still early, so I could get there on time, depending on the traffic. I hoped Sloan would have stopped by, but she probably hadn’t gotten to work yet. Practice only lasted a few hours, so she should still be working by the time I get back — at least, that’s what I hoped.
“I hear you. It’s time for practice, isn’t it?”
“Yes, sir. I’m sure they’ll be bringing your breakfast soon. Do you need me to bring anything when I come back later?”
“Some better food.” Grandpop chuckled. “No, I don’t need anything. You probably are going to be too tired anyway.”
I stood from the chair and stretched. I leaned over the side of the bed and gave my grandfather a hug.
“I’m never too tired for you. If you think of something, don’t hesitate to call me. If I don’t answer, leave me a message or call my mom and tell her to text me.”
Grandpop hated texting, so he always told someone else to send me a message whenever he needed me.
“Okay. Have a good practice and be safe. Love you, Lil.”
“Love you, too.”
I left the room, and a small part of me hoped I bumped into Sloan in the hallway, but that hadn’t happened, and I was a little disappointed. I thought about her all the way to practice, but once I got there, I focused on what had to be done. Sloan said she would be there during the whole process, so I knew I would see her again.
My alarm wokeme up the next morning, and I wanted to shut it off and roll back over. However, I couldn’t do that because I had work to do and wanted to check on Mr. Cooper.
Sure, you just want to see his grandson.
I rolled my eyes at my inner thoughts and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I glanced over my shoulder at Roy sleeping peacefully, and I wanted to punch him in the back of the head. He thought I was asleep when he got home, but I wasn’t. I knew he came in at three in the morning, but I didn’t say a word to him. He didn’t know about the tears I shed when I heard him take a shower and sneak into bed like he had been there the whole time.
He should have been getting ready for work, but maybe he had to sleep off whatever he had gotten into the night before. I debated on waking him up, but I didn’t want to start an argument with the headache I’d woken up with. I should have put the wine down after the second glass. Coffee and Advil were on my list of things I needed to function throughout the day. I couldn’t drink like I used to in my twenties and still function. Usually, I needed a day to recoup, which was why I only drank on the weekends these days.
I looked over at Roy again then got up. I had a long day ahead of me. Besides Mr. Cooper, I had three other patients I had to check on. One of them was scheduled for transfer to a rehabilitation center, so I had to make sure her transfer went smoothly.
I used the bathroom while the water heated up in the shower. Afterward, I washed my hands and put on my shower cap over my scarf. I wanted to get new bathroom accessories, so I mentally added that to my list of things to do after work.
As far as I knew, Roy would pick the kids up from school, so I would have time for a little shopping trip. I would probably change the boys’ bathroom stuff, too.
While I showered, I tried to think of where Roy could have been that kept him away from his family until the middle of the night. I’ve had my suspicions, but he had never been out that late. It was a first, and I prayed it was the last time. I wasn’t naïve, though. Roy was doing some shit he shouldn’t have been.
