Page 28 of Not Afraid to Trust Again
“I don’t know, Nae.”
“You won’t know until you try.” She leaned over and hugged me. “I love you, Sister, and you will get through this.”
We held on to each other for a minute or two, and it felt good to hug my sister. She was younger than me, but she knew how to make me feel better when I needed it.
“Thanks, Apple.” I smirked. “I love you too.”
I grabbed my phone to turn it back on to send Kyden a message, but he beat me to the punch by calling me first.
“Hello?”
“Elise.”
I closed my eyes as he released a huge sigh of relief, like a weight had been lifted.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I need to see you. I know Janae is there, so I’ll wait until tomorrow.”
I cut my eyes at my sister, and she smirked.
“Tomorrow is fine.”
“Okay. I miss you.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. It had only been a week, but I missed him as well, even through the pain I had been dealing with.
“I miss you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow, baby.”
Janae stared at me with a smile on her face, and I rolled my eyes at her. We hung up the phone, and I put it back on the table.
“One day at a time,” Janae said then lay her head on the pillow.
We stayed in my bed for the rest of the day, relaxing and talking. By the time she left, I had begun to feel better and looked forward to seeing Kyden the next day. Maybe we were on the road to fixing things, and I would be able to get out of the darkness.
When Elise confirmedshe was up to seeing me, I arranged for someone to cover for me. I’d been calling her since the day she put me out of her hospital room, and I drove myself crazy with worry every time my calls went unanswered. I got even more worried when Janae told me she hadn’t heard from her either. I was relieved when she told me she would pop up on her because that was my next step. I wanted to give her space, but I needed to know if she was okay.
I hadn’t been okay since finding out we lost the baby, but I spent most of my time working or worrying about Elise. I needed to keep myself busy because every idle minute I had, I thought about the baby and would cry and question God on why He would take our baby so soon. I was angry and hurt, and I knewthere had to have been a reason why it happened, but that didn’t make the pain lessen.
I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because nobody besides Janae knew we were even expecting. And now, I didn’t think Elise would want to tell anyone about it. I wasn’t going to speak on it unless she agreed. The only thing I could do was pretend everything was okay when inside I was losing it.
I woke up early to head to Elise’s house. I had planned on cooking her breakfast and catering to her for the day. I didn’t want her to have to do anything but relax. If I was hurting from the loss, I knew she was feeling it ten times worse. I couldn’t take her pain away, but I would do what I could to make her feel better.
After stopping at the grocery store to get what I needed, I headed to her. I probably should have told her when I was on my way because I stood on her porch freezing my balls off while I waited for her to answer the door. The weather had drastically changed over the last couple of days.
My heart pumped harder against my chest when I heard the locks disengage. It had been days since I had laid eyes on her, and I was nervous. Just because she agreed to see me, that didn’t mean she wasn’t still angry, and if she wasn’t, I wasn’t sure she wouldn’t become angry at some point. This time, I wasn’t leaving until we talked.
“Kyden, what are you doing here so early?” She rubbed her eyes as she stood in the doorway with a purple robe on.
I hated the look of sadness in her eyes. I could tell she had been crying at some point within the last few hours. Her eyes were still red, and her face was puffy. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but it was too cold outside, and I didn’t need her neighbors to see her in her robe.
“Hi, Elise. Are you going to let me in? It’s cold as hell out here.” I chuckled.
“Oh, yes.” She stepped back to give me room to enter. “You just threw me off being here so early. I was still in bed.”
She locked the doors and walked toward the living room.
I put the bags down on the floor and took my coat off.
