Page 30 of Not Afraid to Trust Again
I leaned over and kissed her lips. “No, I got it. You find us something to watch and get comfortable. I’ll meet you in the living room when I’m done.”
She slid off the chair and went to put her plate in the sink. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Thanks again.” She kissed me then left the kitchen.
I got up and proceeded to clean the kitchen. The conversation would be tough, but it needed to be had, and I figured we could get it out of the way before we watched a movie. I didn’t want to do anything else but hold her for the rest of the day. More than likely, more tears would be shed, but the movie would serve as a good distraction.
When I was finished, I joined Elise in the living room. She was on the couch curled up with a blanket over her, watching a documentary.
“Can I join you?”
She looked up at me, smiled, and patted the seat next to her. “Sure.”
Before I joined her, I grabbed the gift I got for her. Her eyes lit up when I handed her the small gift bag.
“What is this?”
“Just a little something for you. Open it.” I sat next to her, already prepared for the emotions that I knew were coming.
I held my breath as she pulled out the tissue paper then the box.
As soon as she opened it, tears fell from her eyes. She looked at me, then back at the box. I watched her as she read the card inside then rubbed her fingers over the charm of the necklace. She stared at the necklace in the box for a few long minutes. I noticed a couple of tears hit the box, and I reached over to wipe them as they fell.
My heart squeezed in my chest as she continued to cry, and I cried with her. I pulled her into my arms and let her cry as much as she wanted to. A few minutes later, she pulled away and wiped her face.
“I’m sorry. I keep crying on your shirt.” She gave me a closed-mouthed smile.
“Fuck this shirt. You can cry on anything you need to.” I traced circles on her back as she lay her head on my chest. “Do you want me to put it on for you?”
“Yes.” She sat back and pulled the necklace out of the box then handed it to me.
I found a necklace with a small stone and baby wings on it. I wanted her to have something to remember the baby by, and it seemed like the best option. I knew she would always wear it, and hopefully, it helped her feel close to the baby. I put the necklace on her then kissed the back of her neck. She turned around to face me and rubbed the charm.
“Thank you so much, Kyden.”
“No problem. How are you feeling?”
I watched her as she tucked a leg under her bottom.
“I’m feeling . . . better a little. It’s like I still can’t believe I was pregnant, and now, I’m not. We hadn’t even had the chance to tell our families. If I wouldn’t have called my sister, she wouldn’thave known either. I still will tell my parents one day, but for now, I don’t want to talk about it if I don’t have to.”
I could understand not wanting to discuss it, but I also didn’t agree with holding it in.
I took her hands into mine. “I don’t want you to suppress what you are feeling. Sometimes, that makes things worse.”
She looked down at her legs and said, “I know. I just don’t know how to talk about it without crying, and I’m tired of crying.” Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Oh my God, Kyden. I haven’t asked you how you are feeling.”
I lifted our joined hands, kissed the back of hers, and lifted the corner of my mouth into a smile.
“It’s all good. I’m not tripping off that.”
“It’s still not right. Janae helped me realize you were just as affected as I was. I was angry and acted like you didn’t lose a baby as well. I’m so sorry for not considering your feelings.”
“I won’t hold it against you because I knew it wasn’t intentional. I kept myself busy, but I worried about you every day since I couldn’t reach you. It hurts just as much as it hurts you, but I’m going to be strong for the both of us.”
I had to be the backbone for both of us, and I had no problem holding that title.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I didn’t want to answer it, but I had to just in case it was the temporary sheriff. I pulled it out, and it was another private number.
