Page 5 of Not Afraid to Trust Again
Kaleb always found a way to remind me of the shit I’d been keeping from Elise. It wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to explain it all to her without sounding like it was a lie. My shit was liable to make her leave me alone for good, and I wasn’t ready for that. She probably would kill me.
“I will when the time is right. She has been avoiding me all night and a little bit before last week.”
My brother and I didn’t keep secrets from each other, so he knew about the stunt she pulled. He wanted Elise and me together, but he also knew why I held back.
“Well, you better find a way to tell her soon before she finds out from somewhere else.” He patted my chest then left the kitchen.
I stood there for a few minutes, thinking about what he said. I’d have to tell her before anyone else.
I poured myself another drink, but before I could drink it, I noticed Elise leaving the living room to go upstairs. I took that as my opportunity to corner her. I put my cup on the counter and hurriedly left the kitchen. I slowly crept up the stairs, not wanting her to hear me or anyone to see me. It took a couple of minutes before the bathroom door opened.
“Shit, Ky. You scared me.” Her hand flew to her chest.
Her curls were pulled into a bun, and she wore small gold earrings in her ears. Her sweater hung loosely off one shoulder as her scent filled my nose.
The last time Elise and I had sex, it felt different from any other time. I’ve heard men say pregnant women get wetter thannormal, plus her mood had been off. That also could have been the reason why she avoided me.
I pushed off the wall and closed the short distance between us. “When were you going to tell me you were pregnant?”
I might have been grasping at straws, but her reaction confirmed I wasn’t.
She stepped back. “Wha-what?” Her voice elevated as her eyes widened.
I moved closer to her again. “I asked when were you going to tell me you were pregnant? Or were you never going to tell me?”
I reared my head back and crossed my arms over my chest. Her eyes roamed from my arms to my face as she bit her bottom lip.
I watched her intently as she rubbed the back of her neck.
“I had plans of telling you. I just . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“You just what?” Like someone hit a switch, something popped into my head. “You weren’t going to tell me because you planned on getting rid of my baby, Elise. Is that what it is?”
My heart dropped to my feet when she dropped her head. I lifted her chin so she could look at me, and the tears in her eyes made my heart squeeze.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You don’t want to have my baby?”
She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she finally spoke. “Can we not talk about this right now? We are in the middle of a party.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. She knew how to test my damn patience.
“Elise, I don’t give a fuck where we at. None of that other shit matters.”
I grabbed her hand and led her to the guest room. When we entered, I closed the door behind me. She walked over to the loveseat and sat down. I wanted to sit next to her, but I sat on theedge of the bed to give her some space. I placed my elbows on my knees and looked into her eyes. The freckles on her face were highlighted by the light makeup she wore.
Her left leg bounced, so I placed my hand on it. She looked down at it but then stopped bouncing. “What’s going on? Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
She sighed. “I didn’t know how to tell you. We never talked about having kids, and we never solidified our relationship. I didn’t even know if you wanted children.”
I rubbed my hand up and down her leg. “I understand that, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me. It’s ultimately your decision, but I would like input on whatever you decide. Did you think about not keeping it?”
She closed her eyes, and her shoulders dropped.
“I did,” she whispered as a tear slipped out of her eye.
That crushed me, but I never gave her a reason to feel as though she could trust me enough to know that I had her back no matter what.
“Damn,” I whispered. I ran my free hand over my head. “That’s on me for not giving you the safe space you needed to communicate your fears with me. But I’m telling you right now that you don’t have to hide anything from me. And I’ll support you in whatever you want to do, but I do hope you keep it.”
