Page 21 of Endless Anger
A while later, Dad knocks on the wall, strolling inside with his hands in his trouser pockets. He glances around my room, smiling softly to himself as he runs a finger over the dog tags on my dresser.
“You know I don’t care where you go to school,” he says, turning to me as I slide my boots on. “I just like riling up your mum.”
I roll my eyes but give him a small smile. “Yeah, I know. She makes it super easy.”
“That she does. I think she secretly likes it though.” He runs a finger over my desk, collecting dust. “Only reason we’ve gotten through two decades of marriage.”
“Because she’d kill you if she didn’t like it?”
“Precisely.”
Brushing off his hands, he continues until he reaches my side, plopping down on the bed next to me. The mattress shifts, and I inhale deeply as he crosses his ankles, finding comfort in the familiarity of his cologne and warmth.
Everything else feels like it’s changing so quickly, it’s nice to know that this is a constant. That when I’m gone, I’ll be able to come back and see things the way they are now.
The way they’ll always be.
“I’ll miss you no matter where you go,” he says, bumping my knee with his. “It won’t be the same in this house without you yelling at us to conserve water when we brush our teeth or trying to convince us that tofu is good.”
“It’s not like I’m dying. I’ll be back.” I pause, placing my foot on the floor. “And tofuisgood, you just cook it wrong.”
“Whatever you say, Lucy.” Dad nods. “But when you come home to visit, it won’t be the same. It never is. I guess I’m just having a bit more difficulty adjusting to this major change than I’d anticipated. I apologize for throwing out your brochures and burning the student tour invitation you got last week.”
My eyebrows arch. “I didn’t know about that one.”
He smirks. “I’m very good at erasing evidence, my girl.” Pausing, he leans back on my bed, stretching his long legs. “Can I ask a question?”
“It’s a free-ish country.”
The former governor smirks. “Why Avernia College? There are plenty of private liberal arts schools scattered across the states and bigger universities we’d be able to afford. Similar programs, some farther away. Better reputations. So whythatschool?”
“Do you believe in fate?” I counter.
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I was in the attic with Quincy Anderson when she first found out about Avernia and how her grandmother attended a long time ago. I watched her sift through this box of their dad’s old stuff. Pictures, letters, scraps of clothing, and hospital bills. Random stuff Uncle Kal kept that she hadn’t seen before.”
“That stuffy old doctor is terrible at sharing.”
I nudge Dad with my knee. “Yet he’s one of your closest friends.”
“Well, it isn’t like I had much say in the matter. Your mum and Elena clicked far too well for me to sit back and let her have all the fun.”
My mind flickers back to the question I asked Asher long ago about our parents’ relationships behind closed doors, but I quickly push it away. No fuckingwayam I asking my father for more information.
“Anyway,” I continue, “Quincy was just so elated at the prospect of this historical tie to the university, and I swear I’d never seen that look onanyone’sface before. It felt like fate had brought that box out of hiding. And the way she talked about the school after enrolling, it just feels likethe close-knit, forward-thinking community I really want. A place where I can be myself and not feel like I need to wear a mask around everyone. You know?”
Dad glances down at me. “I get it. Plus, watching people you know go through it makes the journey seem less terrifying. Right?”
I smile, nodding. “Exactly.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Arms crossed over her chest, Mom enters the room, already glaring at Dad. She’s in a fuzzy orange robe we got her several birthdays ago, apparently having changed after we left downstairs. “Would you stop harassing our daughter?”
“Does it look like she’s being harassed,m’ eudail?”
She grabs his arm and hauls him to his feet; the significant difference in their height, him being over a foot taller than her, is almost comical. “Lucy, baby, get ready for your party. I have something for you to give your aunt Violet if you don’t mind taking it for me.”
I nod. There’s no arguing with her.
