Page 5 of Endless Anger
I want to cover it with my own. Make her look at me differently.
What is wrong with me?
“I’m sad,” she admits after a few seconds, sniffling again.
Throat burning, I clench my teeth. She’s sad a lot these days, what with each failed project at school, being kicked out of the Aplana Youth Club for being too polarizing, and now her first animal death.
Somehow, even though her mom has been fostering and running the island’s animal shelter since before we were born, they’ve been lucky enough to avoid any demise.
But Laurel was old, and we all knew it was coming. Turns out, that doesn’t make it any easier.
Still, you’d never know about the weight on her shoulders. Lucy buries everything inside, and then when she comes here late at night—this is where she lets herself bleed.
“How do you do it?”
My jaw relaxes slightly. “Do what?”
“Well, you don’t really ever seem sad, right?” She blinks at me, rubbing her nose. “How do you do it? Is there, like, a switch you can flip?”
Embarrassment floods my face. “I don’t know, Luce. It’s not really something I put any thought into.”
She frowns, seeming to contemplate this, and I shove my trembling hands beneath the comforter.
It’s a flaw I wish she couldn’t see.
I don’t know how to fix it. Almost like there’s so much anger within me, there’s noroomfor anything else.
Just anger and her.
After a few seconds, she scoots a little closer. Swallowing becomes difficult as the scent of her coconut shampoo surrounds me.
That’s something I never used to notice.
Funny how everything changes in the blink of an eye.
“I miss him,” she says, her breath brushing the skin on my neck above my T-shirt. “Do you think I’ll ever stop?”
“You?” I scoff. “Doubtful.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think so either.” Looking down at Keats, a soft little smile tugs at her lips, replacing the frown from before. “I kind of like that though. It’ll be like he’s always with me. One day, when I open up a big conservation center and rescue all kinds of endangered species, I’ll dedicate it to him so he can help me watch over the animals.”
“Corny.”
She kicks me. “Sorry not everyone wants to be a cynical jerk like you all the time.”
“That’s how you keep the sadness away though.”
Those blue eyes swivel up. “Are you sad, Asher?”
Only when you are.
“Nope. Just angry. Mostly at Foxe for being an asshole earlier.”
“Eh, he can’t help it. Serious stuff makes him uncomfortable. He’s not like you and me.”
“You’re too forgiving.”
She sighs. “Thank you for the box. It’s pretty.”
