Page 27 of I Accidentally Summoned A Demon
“Remember that assignment we had at the beginning of the semester? It was something like overcoming fears. Everyone had to think of ways to overcome stage fright, but you had a creative take. Like you always do.” He gave her a half-grin that had her heart fluttering. “You said people say to not be afraid, but that advice is no good. It’s not that we shouldn’t be afraid; it’s that we shouldn’t let fear control us. Fear is healthy as long as it doesn’t consume us. Fear keeps you safe, keeps you alert, tells you when you need to get out of a situation. Or, in the case of theater, it keeps you on your toes, ready to take on a crappy audience, or someone messing up their lines. I can’t remember exactly how you said it, but it was something like, ‘Fear is a sense we’ve been given for a reason. It’s okay to be afraid, as long as you control that fear and use it to help you like it was intended.’”
“I can’t believe you remember.” That paper took hard work. She used things she’d learned in counseling and added her own spin. The exercise was therapeutic, but she didn’t think anyone listened when she gave her presentation.
“It was so profound it was easy to remember. So, I took your advice. I figured since I was afraid to ask you out, it meant you were worth the risk. And I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I always would’ve wondered if you would’ve said yes.” He leaned over the table more, and she could smell mint on his breath.
“I’m glad you did too.” A smile grew so big it made her self-conscious. She sat back, hiding behind her menu and earning a chuckle from Jason.
After the awkward beginning, the date went better. Jason liked a lot of the classic books Kat did, so finding something to talk about wasn’t hard. Time slipped past until the hostess reminded them the restaurant closed at nine o’clock.
Jason drove Kat home. Distracted by being in a car, she had no time to be nervous about her first kiss with him or the fact it was no longer her first kiss. Instead, she counted the stitches on the seat to combat the increasing tightness in her chest.
Outside Kat’s house, Jason walked her to the door, and she turned to him, beaming. “I had a good time. Thank you for dinner. You didn’t have to pay.”
“If I invite you out, I should pay. I had a good time too.” He laced his fingers with hers. “Was it good enough to earn another date?” Kat nodded, getting another heart-stopping grin from Jason. “Great, what about next Friday? Same time?”
“That works.”
“Awesome. Goodnight, Kat.” He stepped forward and kissed her forehead. Lips still there, he brought his hand under her chin, tilted her face toward his, and kissed her.
Kat’s breath hitched as his mouth moved against hers.You’re supposed to kiss him back.She moved her lips, and her eyes slid shut, his gentleness making her giddy.
He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers. “I’ll see you at school.”
Kat reached for the doorknob and fought the urge to cheer. “At school.”
“Goodnight, Kat.” He backed up, throwing his hand up in a wave. “Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight.” Kat slipped inside and shut the door. Briefly closing her eyes, she touched her lips and beamed. Her eyes snapped open at a bottle clattering. Nex lounged on the couch, two empty bottles of whiskey lying on the ground next to him and a new one in his hands.
Glazed eyes drifted over Kat, narrowing the longer he stared at her. “Was it all you hoped for?”
“It was nice.” Kat frowned as Nex tried to sit up but fell back. “Do you need help to bed?”
“Unless you’re going to send me back tomybed inmyhome withmyhounds, then I don’t want anything from you.” He turned on his side. “I want to go home.” His eyes slid shut, the bottle in his hands slipping from his grasp.
Kat rushed over and caught the bottle before it hit the ground. His breathing slowed, eyes not opening. Passed out. She grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, draped it over him, then stepped back, unable to stop staring down at him.
Although she tried not to think about it, their kiss was fresh in her mind. She busied herself with throwing the empty bottles in the garbage, then hung her coat and purse on the coat rack near the front door. She flicked off the lights, went to her bedroom, and fell back against the door to close it.
I want to go home.
Guilt formed a knot in her stomach. She was trying to find a way to send him home, looking through books, reading anything she could get her hands on. Nothing worked.
Kat considered her attempts and where to look next as she got ready for bed and climbed into it. She curled under the blankets, guilt eating away at her until it consumed more than her stomach. She didn’t want to be the reason he was stuck, forced to be here against his will and away from his dogs.
Nex’s suggestions surfaced. For the first time, she let herself consider them. She could do like he said and pick someone who was about to die. That wouldn’t put blood on her hands. Or so she tried to tell herself.
But that voice, that awful voice she’d spent months after her parents’ accident trying to get rid of, crept back in.Isn’t the blood of two people bad enough? You want to be responsible for another death?
Kat’s chest tightened so much that she had to take a quick draw of air to breathe at all. Flashes of her hands covered in her parents’ blood forced her to relive the parts that made her the guiltiest.
She blinked back tears and curled on her side. No. Shecouldn’tbe responsible for another death. She’d figure something else out.
She had to.
Chapter 13
Affinity for Dark Things
