Page 73 of I Accidentally Summoned A Demon
“Hold out your hand. I’ll put it on you.” He unclasped the bracelet and opened it. “Everything’s all right now.”
Kat extended her unsteady hand. Nex secured the bracelet around her wrist, then pressed a kiss against it, looking up at her. Although she’d hoped a piece of her mother would be the thing to get her to stop crying, she cried harder.
Nex knew she wouldn’t be ready to go on stage in ten minutes when she was this upset. He picked her up and sat on the chair with her in his lap, her legs either side of his. Holding her close, he cupped her cheek with his other hand to sweep away tears.
“I’m sorry.” She hid her face in her hands. “I don’t cry like this. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” Nex uncovered her face and guided her to look at him. “And you’re not fine because you’re trying to act like you are. Let it out. You’ve been holding it in too long.” He traced her tear-stained freckles. “You’re mine, Katherine. Talk to me.”
She hated talking about it. Hated thinking about it. It hurt too much and took her back to that dark place she was in the first few months after it happened. But with Nex, she didn’t want to pretend she was okay.
“I miss them.” She cried and threw her arms around his shoulders. He cradled her head into the crook of his neck. “I miss them so much, and it’s almost Christmas, an-and I—” Gasps and tears broke her words. “Ever since the accident, I sometimes get so anxious around cars I see things that aren’t there. I watch it happen over and over.” She burrowed her face against his skin. “It happened so fast, and . . .” Her body shook with the memory. “There was so much blood, and it was on me and—” She clung to him as sobs took over. “I can’t stop watching them die.”
Anguish had never caused Nex’s throat to close. In hell, there was no mercy or empathy because the souls there earned their place. Kat’s suffering was worse.
She sniffled. “I’m going to be late.”
“Something tells me the play is going to run a little late.” Nex focused on the shadows, guiding them. They drifted to the lights onstage, engulfing the bulbs and darkening the area.
The lighting coordinator’s panic didn’t matter to him. What mattered was the woman in his arms. The accident was worse than he realized. She wasn’t letting herself heal from it. Resting his chin on her head, he stroked her hair. He didn’t give the lighting coordinator peace until she’d stopped for a while. The sniffling ceased, and she went still in his arms, her body exhausted.
He pet soothing circles on her back. “Have you told anyone what happened that night?”
“My pastor knows most of it. He was my counselor. If it was up to him, I’d still be in counseling, but I,” she sighed, “wanted to get through it myself.”
“Will you tell me what happened?”
“I can’t.” Her arms tightened, needing to hold him, so she wouldn’t fall apart again. “It’s not that I don’t want you to know. I-I can’t relive it.”
“It’s all right.” He kissed her head. “You don’t have to tell me.”
“I want to. I don’t suppose one of your tricks involves going into my mind and finding out for yourself?” she joked, desperate to lighten the mood because she couldn’t take the heaviness.
“No.”But I know someone who can.“Say I could find a way. Would you want me to?”
Kat hesitated. “Only if you don’t look at me the way everyone else did.”
“How did everyone look at you?”
“Like . . .” Her eyes welled. “Oh, the poor traumatized orphan.” Her voice cracked. “Nobody could be normal with me except my pastor and Bernice. Everyone talked to me like I’d break, and I got tired of that look. The pity look.” She winced when she pictured it. “Because of that, I isolated. I lost most of my friends because I couldn’t stand being stared at like that all the time. Being lonely was better. It was suffocating to have people constantly wanting me to talk about it, waiting for me to break.”
“Katherine, you’re never going to heal if you don’t admit it still haunts you. I’m here for you. You belonging to me means I take care of you in every way.” He pulled her out of her hiding place against his neck. “You can cry on me. I want you to cry on me. Your pleasure isn’t the only thing that belongs to me. All of you belongs to me. That includes your grief.” He kissed her lips, then her forehead. “I wantallof you.”
His words almost brought on tears of a different kind. She didn’t often make the first move, but she pressed her lips against his in an urgent kiss. He threaded his hand through her hair as their lips moved together in perfect sync like they were made to kiss each other.
“I have to get ready.” Kat sighed into the kiss. “Everyone’s going to know I was crying.”
“No, they won’t.” Nex tilted her chin up. “Keep your head up, kitten. This is nothing makeup tricks can’t hide. We’ll have you fixed up in no time, but that makeup comes off as soon as we get home. I want to see you. Just you.”
Kat bit back a smile. “Deal.”
“Good. Let’s get you stage ready.”
Kat nodded and got off Nex’s lap, wiping her eyes one last time. He watched her count under her breath before she gave him a small smile and unzipped her makeup bag. He’d act normal for her sake, but he was concerned. She’d gone through it alone and still was.
There was one way he could know what happened and how better to comfort her. One person could help him. He’d never encountered her, sometimes pointedly avoided her, but no longer.
He was going to pay Death a visit.
