Page 100 of Clashing
The moment one of Scarlett’s biggest sources of pain left this world, I called her to take the brace down. My chest caved in when the door opened, and she stood there with tear-stained cheeks. I wanted nothing more than to crush her in an embrace and carry her home. Hold her until she fell asleep. Make her breakfast. Wrap her in fucking Bubble Wrap. Anything to make her feel safe.
I could’ve lost her. Really lost her in every fucking sense of the word.
I’d lived through plenty of horrors overseas, but fear had never seized my heart the way it did when I considered the possibility I might lose Scarlett forever. Of fucking course the weekend Todd decided to make a move was the weekend my friend keeping an eye on him went camping.
I could’ve wept when Scarlett threw her arms around me. I’d stayed calm for her, but the truth was, I almost crashed my truck when she told me he was here. My truck, because the forces of the universe stopped hating me for one day. I never had my truck, but a buddy needed help moving. Having the truck let me stay on the phone with her the entire time, and now she was here. In my arms.Safe.
“You’re okay.” I curled my arms around her and breathed in her familiar shampoo to calm myself. “You’re safe.”
The cops’ arrival was an ordeal thanks to all the gunshots, and I had to admit I did, in fact, kill someone. We both had to provide statements and while I should’ve prepped Scarlett, I didn’t need to. She made our stories work together to paint me in an innocent light. I’d have to go through some legal shit, but it wasn’t my first time killing in self-defense. It’d happened when tracking bounties. I had a record for only using deadly force when absolutely necessary, and that helped my case.
The police wanted to talk to Scarlett alone, but I kept them at bay until she had a better hold over herself. I would’ve stayed with her, but they made us give statements separately at the station, so all I could do was stand outside and wait. Considering she lived through a fucking nightmare, she handled it well. Another testament to her resilience and strength.
Of course, the police weren’t the only ones with questions. Dan scrambled over and half crawled upstairs with a gun when the shots went off. Once he settled down, he accompanied us to the station, and a couple hours later, we returned. Danny and Scarlett reassured each other for over an hour while they sat in the bar with shattered windows.
I called some of my boys to board up what the asshole broke. Scarlett convinced Dan to go back to his house, only with the promise I’d walk her over there when she was ready. Hours passed before the police left and forensics allowed me to run in to find Scarlett a few clothes and toiletries before they taped the apartment off and warned us to stay out until we were given the okay.
The first hints of daylight gave the horizon a light blue glow by the time we left the bar and walked to Danny’s. We made it two steps into his place before Scarlett buried her face in her hands and sobbed. I caught her when she started to slide to her knees and carried her to the couch. There, I held her in my lap until the crying turned to sniffling, the sniffling to silence as the sun rose. If not for her iron grip on my shirt, I might’ve thought she’d fallen asleep.
I stroked her spine and rested my cheek against her head. “You wanna talk about any of it?”
I was familiar with the conflicting feelings about death. Not for Todd. I should’ve taken him out a long time ago. Regardless, complicated emotions dominated the death of a bad person whom the world was better off without. Sometimes a sense of relief that in some ways made a person feel guilty, even if they had nothing to feel guilty about. I’d be damned if Scarlett sank into anything like that.
“I did everything I was supposed to.” She shuddered, fists twisting in my tear-soaked shirt. “I moved away. I told them he was still bothering me. I told them every time he contacted me.” Her voice cracked, and I tightened my arms around her. “I wish I knew what I should’ve done different.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Scarlett.” I kissed her head. “You didn’t doanythingwrong. He was a fucking psycho. You never know what people like that will do.”
“I don’t understand.” She curled into me and snuggled me. “I didn’t encourage him to keep talking to me. He had agun. What was he going to do?”
“I don’t know. But baby, it’s not your fault.” I tried to tip her face toward me, but she stayed tucked into my chest. “Scarlett.”
“Don’t,” she whispered. “I can’t look at anyone right now. I’m so . . .” She sucked in a breath and muttered something too quiet to hear.
“So what, Scarlett?” I frowned. “Don’t tell me you’re stupid or embarrassed. This wasn’t your fault. You know that, don’t you?”
Her silence might as well have been a thousand knives slicing through my chest. I was part of the problem. She might’ve found a way to blame herself anyway, but I made it worse with the stupid shit I’d said.
“Scarlett.” I tucked her head under my chin. “I’m sorry for what I said to you, but it wasn’t anything except displaced anger. It was bullshit. So far from the truth. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not stupid. You’re not reckless.” I stroked her hair. “You’re perfect. This is all on him.Noneof it is your fault.”
Silence again. That was okay. If she needed me to sit here in silence, I would, for however long. She could ask me to hold her for an eternity, and I would. I never wanted her hurt again. Never wanted her in danger. Whether she kept me as a friend or more, I’d spend the rest of my life watching her back, even if I had to do so while someone else made her happy.
“I’m tired.” Her hoarse voice was so far from the sweetness I’d grown used to.
I adjusted my hold on her before standing and turning for the stairs. As I did, the front door caught my attention, and I thought back to the damage at her apartment. Splintered, broken doorframe. Lock ripped out. I’d set her up with a much stronger lock and door after forensics released the apartment.
Not wanting her to wake with a headache on top of everything else, once I laid her down in the spare bedroom, I hurried to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. All that crying was going to turn my girl into a raisin. Maybe she couldn’t take care of herself right now, but I could.
I returned with the water and knelt beside the bed. She sat up and drank the whole thing in one go.Yep.Thought she might need that. I took the empty glass and stood. “More?”
“No.” She curled up. “I want to sleep.”
“I can stay. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I didn’t want her to send me away but if she did, I’d respect her wishes. I’d camp out in front of the house to ensure no one came near it, but I’d give her whatever space she needed.
Considering how we parted ways before this disaster, I wasn’t sure what to expect. She shook her head, and my stomach dropped.It’s what she wants.You can at least give her that after everything you and that asshole put her through.I’d sleep outside.
“Can you stay with me?” She patted the bed, eyes glistening with fresh tears. “I don’t—” She gasped and clutched her chest. “I don’t want to be alone. We can lock the door, so Dan doesn’t come in.”
