Page 110 of Clashing
“Oh.” He sucked in a breath and averted his eyes. Whatever he wanted to say, he clearly lost his nerve. After opening and closing his mouth several times, he muttered under his breath.
Stepping closer, Ryker pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You’re not a mess, Scarlett. Your tears aren’t too much for me. None of you is too much for me.” He stepped back but one of his hands lingered, his thumb brushing my cheek. “I’ll, uh . . .” He cleared his throat, and his hand fell away from me. “I’ll talk to you later.”
The door thudded shut after him. What the hell was going on in that mind of his? He’d never been timid. Not to mention the need to know what he was about to say sparked curiosity that wouldn’t be satisfied by anything but a direct answer.
On a normal day, I would’ve spent too long trying to decipher the great Ryker mystery. Unfortunately, my head throbbed, and my stomach turned in a way that told me I needed food and water.
I eyed the eggs on my way to eat breakfast with Dan.Dammit.Of course, he and Dan chose to make me breakfast on the same day. Did he think I didn’t appreciate it?
It occupied my thoughts while I sat with Dan, unable to hide my hungover state. I anticipated a lecture, but his energy was directed elsewhere. He wanted me to move in with him and out of that apartment. He worried about me not sleeping. I worried too, but I wouldn’t let fear control me. I wanted to conquer it, even if it took time.
After breakfast, I returned to my apartment, locked the door, and showered. The more the day wore on, the more the night before came into focus. Parts were fuzzy but I remembered. His lips against mine. His hands on me.
I asked my therapist how I could want Ryker so soon after Todd’s death and she said that might be exactly why. Because he wasthere. He not only protected me but eliminated the threat. He made me feel empowered because he helped me enjoy sex again. Helped me get to therapy so I could recover. Reminded me I could be close to someone without being scared.
Maybe we could go back to how it was. For a little while.
The tender pieces of my heart argued about what a terrible idea that was, but he made me feel safe andgood. I was desperate for that after drowning in sadness. Plus, I wanted to know what he was going to say earlier.
Before I overthought it, I got ready and drove to his house in the late afternoon. Didn’t even bother to verify he was home. His schedule wasn’t exactly normal. Being a bounty hunter, he made his own hours.
I’m trying anyway.I pulled in front of his place and the garage door opened as I climbed out of my truck. I grinned when the dogs rushed toward me, tails wagging and tongues lolling.
“Hi, sweeties,” I cooed, hugging both and planting kisses on their heads. “I missed you.”
They licked at me and nearly knocked me over trying to get close. I giggled and scratched behind their ears.
“We’ve been over thesweetiesthing.” Ryker stepped outside and my mouth dried. Sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, catching between the ridges of his abs and around his taut chest. He slowly uncurled wraps from his fists. “Demon’s a retired military dog for fuck’s sake. They’re not sweeties.”
I tried not to drool at the tattoos decorating his sexy body. “First of all, they are sweeties. I don’t care what you say. Second of all, I wanted to say thanks. I remember parts of last night, and I appreciate you handling it like you did and staying with me. Sorry I didn’t get to eat breakfast with you.”
“Don’t apologize. Danny’s eggs were probably better anyway. And yeah, Scar. You can call me anytime. I’ll be there.” My breath trembled. He kept talking like he intended to always be near me. “You okay? You didn’t have to come here. You could’ve said that over the phone.”
“I wanted to talk.” I clutched my long jacket around my naked body. “Can we talk?”
He inclined his head for me to follow him into the garage. I gulped at the muscles on his back, all swollen and bulging from his workout. “What do you wanna talk about?”
“I want to know what you were going to say earlier when Dan called.”
Ryker hesitated in front of the door that led up to the house. He glanced at me over his shoulder. “It’s nothing. I don’t know why I was going to say it.”
“Well, say it anyway. I want to hear it.”
Ryker twisted the knob and pushed the door open, blowing out a long breath. “I’m back in therapy. Just . . . you know, you’re not alone. We’re both trying to fix our shit.”
My mouth fell open. “Really? Why?”
He faced me now, mouth in a thin line. “I should never be so angry I lash out and say shit like what I said to you.” I stopped breathing. “I know an apology can only do so much, and I’m not asking you to praise me for doing something I should’ve done a while ago, but I wanted you to know my apology wasn’t just words. I’m doing the work too.”
“Why?”
Vulnerability flashed in his eyes—quick as a lightning bolt. “I want to be a better man.”
If any part of me doubted my next move, those simple words melted all hesitation. He ascended the stairs, and I blocked the dogs from following. I couldn’t take my clothes off around them. It weirded me out.
We entered his house and when I closed the dogs out, he glanced back.
“You don’t have to leave them down there. They miss you.”
