Page 18 of Clashing
“I won’t. Don’t worry. This stays between me and you. Unless you want to do something about it.”
“There’s nothing to do. It’s my word against his.”
I hated how true that usually was. By her response, I assumed she didn’t get a kit or anything like that to prove he’d been there. And even then, it was still her word against his on whether it was consensual. I wanted to tell her to fight anyway, and I’d help her, but it wasn’t my decision.
“What do you need? What can I do?”
“Nothing. I’m just so embarrassed,” she said, shaking her head but keeping it on my chest.
“Don’t be. Like I said, between me and you. And you don’t need to be embarrassed about anything in front of me. God knows I’ve seen my fair share of shit and done stupid shit. Don’t think on it. I’m not judging you, but hey, look at me.” I brought my hand to her chin and eased it up until her face became visible. “I’m not that asshole, all right? I won’t hurt you. I’m not going to do anything unless you want it. You don’t have to be scared with me, okay?”
Her eyes darted away, but she gave a small nod before hiding in the crook of my neck. I held her close until her shaking finally stopped.
“Ryker?” She spoke so quietly I barely heard her.
“What is it?”
“Would you—would you stay with me?”
Shit.That was against the rules. Rules I’d followed for years to make sure no girl I fucked got too attached. This was different. I couldn’t leave her like this in good conscience.Son of a bitch.
“Sure, baby.” I scooted us more onto the bed, then reclined, adjusting so she lay on top of me.
She shifted slightly, moving one leg off and leaving the other draped over my hips. Her head stayed on my chest, her hand settling over my heart. I wrapped my arms around her, and she relaxed into me.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anytime, sugar.” The words left my mouth, and I couldn’t believe I’d said them. This couldn’t be an anytime offer. She couldn’t depend on me like this. She needed a therapist and something else, but it wasn’t me. I could never be what she needed. I didn’t fuck girls more than a couple times. I didn’t date. I definitely didn’t cuddle.
Yet, Scarlett’s head on my chest triggered a powerful surge of protectiveness. Her hand over my heart caused an unusual flutter. Her ponytail spread out behind her, over my shoulders and neck. Her body, soft against mine, fit so well like a puzzle piece. Anytime I got roped into cuddling before I made the rules, it was always uncomfortable, and I made it clear I’d sneak out once they fell asleep.
But with Scarlett, I was comfortable, and as I lay there, listening to her breathing, I found myself drifting into unconsciousness.
Chapter six
Distractions
Scarlett
Coldaircoastedovermy back, and I shivered. I reached out, but instead of finding Ryker, I found the edge of the bed. Opening my eyes revealed his absence. My chest bowed under a heavy weight. He didn’t owe me anything. We had a casual fuck. I couldn’t be upset he didn’t stay.
Did he wait until I fell asleep to leave?Great.Another thing to be embarrassed about.Worse, I couldn’t avoid him. Tammy told me he and his friends came in every Friday through Sunday, occasionally dropping in during the week as well. Apparently, he was part of a biker club that frequented the bar. They’d all served in the military at some point. Ryker had been a Marine. That explained his insane body and stoic demeanor.Stoic demeanor when he's not flirting, at least.
I’d planned to stay away from him when he came in last night, but he sat at the bar watching me, and I grew increasingly horny under his attention. He made it pretty clear he wanted me before he said the words, and it was stupid to deny I wanted him. Being with him was next level.
Until it all came crashing down. I freaked out. Lost control. Hurtled into a different place with a different person. Ryker had been the one with me, but that small touch confused my mind, and when I tried to reassure myself, all I saw was Todd’s face. His unwanted intrusion.Stupid.Nothing like that had ever happened before. Thinking about it turned my stomach and made me want to cry all over again, but I’d cried enough.
Unwilling to wallow, I forced myself up for a shower and hurled Ryker’s shirt into the corner. I made myself get dressed and eat while watching the local channels Dan’s old TV received. He didn’t upgrade with the times. Only recently did I get him to send a text, and it wasn’t likely to happen with anyone but me. Set in his ways, he hated technology.
I can’t believe I have to face Ryker after last night.Mortification told me to curl into a ball and not leave my room, the thought of interacting with him abhorrent.
Throughout the day, my pissed-off demeanor shifted focus. Anger at myself overpowered my anger with him. He hadn’t done anything I shouldn’t have expected. A guy who blatantly says “I want to fuck you” is not the kind of guy who spends the night.
Still, I thought he would since he handled everything so well. Shockingly well. He knew I needed to be covered up and held. Knew what to say. Didn’t push and was very sweet.
I almost wished he hadn’t been so I could be pissed at him rather than me. Instead of being angry, I wanted him all over again. Last night, before my stupid episode, was by far thebestsex I’d ever had. Despite being a bigger girl, he threw me around like I weighed nothing. If it weren’t for me freaking out, we probably would’ve gone again. Maybe all night.
Then I ruined it, and he probably didn’t want to deal with me again. He probably thought I was weak and needy. I hated looking that way, especially to someone like him. He was all tough guy—rarely smiled, never showed emotion unless teasing—and I cried like a baby on his shoulder.
