Page 70 of Clashing
I couldn’t fucking take it. I drove home and sat on the couch with the dogs. They laid their heads in my lap and looked up at me with sad puppy eyes they should’ve outgrown by now.
“What?” I snapped.
Demon whined.
“Shut up.” I reached for a bottle of scotch.
Grayson whined.
“Let it go. Both of you.”
They both whined.
“I can’t have her, all right? She’s too good for me. What do you want from me?”
Demon snorted and laid his head in my lap again. The fucking jerk. I stared at the TV I hadn’t bothered to turn on. Most of my free time recently had been spent with her. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Grayson whined again and I patted his head. It spoke volumes that they could tell I was upset. Not because they couldn’t always, but because that made it evident what bad shape I was in.
Was Ithatterrible for her? She didn’t think so. She said I always showed up. But she didn’t know my dark secrets.What if she can’t handle them?What if she learned that shit and was done? Then there was the nagging thought in the back of my mind.Isn’t she worth the risk?
She absolutely was.
“Fine.” I petted the dogs’ heads as I stood. “You win.”
I was too drunk to do this with her tonight, so I staggered to bed and formed a plan to talk to her the next day. She had worked Fridays before but since her class started, her schedule changed. Still, I could catch her coming home from Dan’s.
Except, what do I say?I wasn’t good with words. I tried to come up with a speech, but it sounded like such bullshit. After writing several different options, I crumpled them all and buried them at the bottom of my trash can. The words would come to me when I saw her.
I’d been to Dan’s bar a hundred times and sat on the same stool, yet that night, I couldn’t stop fidgeting. I drummed my fingers against the bar while I waited. She usually showed up after her class before going to Dan’s place. I tried not to fixate on the time or the hallway. I was only on my second glass when Dan appeared down the hallway, being wheeled by Diana.
My eyebrows shot up. “Danny.”
“Hey.” An easygoing grin he only had around Scarlett and Diana stretched across his face. “Thought I’d see how it’s going over here. I needed to get out of that fucking house.”
I chuckled and stood to shake his hand. “I don’t blame you. Nice to see you moving around.”
Several people flocked to Danny. Followed him to the table Diana claimed. Isolating Scarlett wouldn’t be easy. I’d have to wait until Danny was gone, then if Scarlett wanted to try this with me, I’d let her decide how to tell him.
If she still wanted me.
Time crawled and she didn’t show. I needed to see her, even if it wasn’t the right moment to talk. I sipped my drink, and a hand landed on my shoulder. I didn’t need to look—I recognized those long nails.
I shrugged off her hand. “Natalia.”Shit.Her timing couldn’t be worse.
“Ryker,” she said smoothly, taking the seat next to me and rubbing my leg.
Not good timing at all.Natalia and I usually hooked up whenever she was in town for work. She was married, but her husband was a tool who cheated on her constantly. As she sat, I remembered she’d texted me earlier this week and told me she’d be here. I’d ignored it because I was hoping it was a message from Scarlett.
“You didn’t answer but I figured you’d be around.” She inclined her head to the door. “Wanna get out of here?”
“Not tonight, Nat.” I pushed her hand off my leg. “Sorry.”
Her lips pulled down. “Why?”
“There’s—ah, fuck. There’s a girl, all right?”
“You don’t settle down.”
