Page 84 of Clashing
Chapter twenty-six
Normal
Scarlett
FindinganormalwithRyker was a challenge. We’d been attracted to each other from the beginning. It was our thing. Fight-flirting. I didn’t know how else to be around him. But not being around him sucked. It also opened up more free time.
I told my mom what happened with my ex. What he did, and how he continued contacting me. Though I hadn’t heard from him in a while. I hoped that meant he’d given up.
I never doubted that telling Mom would break her heart, and it did. At least I comforted her with the knowledge Todd seemed to be backing off, and I was getting help to heal. I had Ryker to thank for that.
Ryker.That frustrating part-time sweetheart, part-time asshole. I was honest with my apology. While he was definitely an asshole, I didn’t handle things right either. At first, I was too hurt and angry to think straight, but then I attended a therapy session and parking in front of the building reminded me I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to go if it weren’t for him.
Like I said, part-time asshole, part-time sweetheart. It’d be nice if he could pick one and stick with it.
Since that awkward conversation in Dan’s kitchen, things were as normal between us as they could be. He started coming in again, and we were polite to each other, but I missed our banter.I guess I can’t have that anymore.
Things with Collin continued. Spending time with him was always enjoyable, and he wasn’t a part-time sweetheart. He wasfull-time. There was nothing wrong with him but . . .
He didn’t set me on fire like Ryker did. Probably no one ever would, and I couldn’t use Ryker as a standard for other guys. Especially considering Ryker didn’t have it in him to do more than fuck.
I tried to avoid any run-ins between Ryker and Collin. Whether or not it was the right thing to do, it seemed the safe thing to do. If I didn’t enjoy seeing Ryker with Nat, I doubted Ryker enjoyed seeing me with Collin. Collin did, however, meet Dan, who actually liked him. That spokevolumes. Dan never approved of any guy I dated. Him warming to Collin reinforced that I needed to try harder and stop pining after someone I couldn’t have.
Because I had to put effort into not thinking about Ryker, I didn’t allow things to move forward with Collin. We dated, but I told him we needed to wait on any official labels or commitments. I refused to be a girlfriend to one man while thinking about another. Which made progress slow.
Polar opposite to my experience with Ryker. It’d been three weeks, and we hadn’t done anything but make out. No sleeping over. I told him the truth—that I had some hang-ups and didn’t want to commit to him or ask him to commit to me until I worked them out. The man had the patience of a saint. Patience I appreciated while my gut swam with nauseating guilt.
The only thing keeping me going was the fact I didn’t catch myself thinking about Ryker as often. I didn’t want to jump his bones as much. I needed to focus on Collin instead, anyway. Ergo, I was currently spending way more time dolling myself up for him than I ever had for Ryker.
We had a date tonight and I’d learned makeup tricks from Hannah. I got that smoky eye thing down and put on red lipstick to match the dress I’d picked out. Checking the time on my phone, I stilled. Dropped my lipstick.
A notification from an unknown number waited.
Chills racked my body. Not opening it wouldn’t make it go away. My thumb hovered over the screen for a moment before I tapped the notification.
Unknown:Stop ignoring me. We need to talk. You can’t avoid me forever.
My stomach churned and I took a screenshot of the text, sent it to the officer in charge of the case, blocked the number, and deleted the text. Hands trembling, I lowered my phone to the counter and practiced the breathing exercises I’d learned in therapy.
I can’t be shaken before my date with Collin.He didn’t know Todd existed. I preferred it that way because I didn’t have to relive it and didn’t have to worry he’d look at me differently.
Allowing myself exactly three minutes to chill out, I took off my robe and retrieved my dress from the closet. The silky fabric chilled my body, and I stretched my hand back for a zipper I couldn’t reach. A knock on the door startled me.
Dammit.Collin was early. I intended to avoid Ryker witnessing him pick me up, so I usually rushed out before Collin arrived. Unfortunately, Collin noticed that I always waited outside and insisted I wait for him to come to the door. I blanched at the thought of explaining why I didn’t want him to, so I told him I was punctual. Total lie. I was late foreverything.
I worked on the zipper on my way to the door but couldn’t catch it. Collin and I may not have had sex, but he had his hands under my shirt enough that zipping me up shouldn’t be a problem. I opened the door and turned.
“I’m almost ready. Can you zip me up?” I glanced back over my shoulder and the blood drained from my face.
Ohfuck. I spun around and held my dress closed behind me. “Ryker,” I squeaked.
His striking eyes might as well have conjured a bolt of lightning as they drifted up and down. “I don’t think I’m who you were expecting, but I’ll zip you up.”
“It’s o-okay.” I backed away and contorted my arm to reach the zipper. “What are you doing here?”
“Danny said you’ve got a problem with a light switch.” He held up his faded red toolbox. “He asked me to check it out for you.”
“Oh.” My finger almost grazed the stupid little metal slider but notquite. “You don’t have to do that.”
