Page 28 of The Happiness Blueprint
A few hours later, Interview Lady is changed to Boss Lady in the Alex mental headquarters as she calls and offers me the job. Short, matter-of-fact tone, professional. Notice annoyingly that her voice makes my heart rate go up. And that I can’t help but smile.Smile.When did that happen last? She seems anything but thrilled, and herlooking forward to seeing you on Mondayconveys the exact opposite meaning. Don’t care. Feel something I haven’t felt in months.
Dig out my work clothes and decide I feel happy to see them. Think about taking the ring off. I don’t usually wear jewelry when I work. It fights back as I jerk at it forcibly, then move on to rinse it under water with a drop of soap. When I finally place it on the bathroom shelf, my finger has a white imprint where it used to be. Like a ghost ring. Bothers me. My ghosts are what’re haunting me.
End up putting the ring back on an hour later.
KLARA
What is the appropriate distance for personal space?
Google Search I’m Feeling Lucky
Three days into his employment—and much to my amazement—Alex is working out wonderfully. He is on time, a hard worker and naturally polite. Customers like him. Only oddness would be his habit to stare. At me. I’m usually the one doing the staring, a hard one like Paddington Bear, I’ve been told. Mostly people’s eyes firmly avoid mine once they’ve met them. Like I’m in a constant stranger-on-the-Tube scenario.
His stare is not intruding; I don’t exactlymindit. I guess this is what it would be like to be famous, or a very beautiful person, the kind that people watch. It’s not a stare that saysimagining you nakedorwish you could finish talking nowor any of those things. He looks genuinely interested, like a child would, perhaps. And telling children to not stare, well, it seems futile: children have a tendency to do exactly what they want. So I’ve accepted staring as part of the deal.
It’s our first staff meeting since he joined. Me, Alex, Gunnar.Then there were three.
“Good morning, boss.” Alex doesn’t say it like a joke, not like people tend to do since I’ve found myself in this position. He simply walks up and shakes my hand. And—oh.
I’m in proximity to Alex.Veryclose, my built-in sensor is going off alerting of imminent danger, or something. It’s clear that I have not yet adjusted to our new team member. Our bodies are an inch away from touching, and I’m painfully aware of it. The small hairs on my arm stand up as if they’re trying to break through the confinement of the skin, and it’s hard to swallow, like I’m in the dentist’s chair and every gulp is a loud awkward event.
Andhis smell.It’s overpowering, and somehow I can swear it sticks to the thin hairs in my nostrils like frost on straws of grass, because even after he’s passed by it’s there. Wildflowers and crisp sea. Is that even athing? Haven’t seen it on a fragrance ad.So he smells like seaweed?Alice asked me when I told her all about the annoying new employee.
I googledcan you ask employee to wear perfume?but the verdict was that it’s only acceptable if you work in certain professions, building work not included.
I feel like Alex doesn’t realize the effect he has on...people.
Luckily, before I can think more troubling thoughts, my arm beeps.
“Yes, what is it, Ollie?” I address the arm as if it is about to answer me, staring down at it, then remembering Alex. I pull up my shirtsleeve to reveal the small flat rectangular box that sticks to my arm with an adhesive sticker.
“Please meet Ollie. Ollie this is Alex. He works with me.”
Alex acts as if talking to a small gray chip is the most natural thing in the world to do.
“You’ve named your pump?”
“Ollie Omnipod. My main man, keeping me alive every single day. Right now, he’s telling me he’s running out of insulin in six hours.”
“Pleased to meet him. Any friend of Klara’s is a friend of mine. Why Ollie?”
“I like alliteration. I have Charlie the CGM as well.” I show my left arm and its inhabitant. “I like the idea of two people on my team, my bodyguards, if you will. Charlie is a popular guy. He has four followers. Although, three of them are my family.”
Alex nods in greeting to Charlie, looking genuinely pleased to meet him.
“Bluetooth?” he asks.
“Yep. No such thing as magic, is there?”
It shouldn’tbe this easy to get on with Alex. I don’t do well around people like him.Beautiful people.People with well-defined biceps and smooth skin and who wear confidence like it’s a new sweater they’d just found in a shop.Oh, this old thing? Nothing special.Well, to me it’s special: people who smile like Alex remind me of everything I’m not. Which is a lot of things.
The main problem with Alex is that he disturbs my peace. And I like my peace. A survival kit is in order if I am to handle this, and my first tool in it must be Safe Distance, I conclude. I decide on two yards, give or take. Any more seems too extreme, especially when handing something over such as keys or a note (my arms are not that long). Google says that personal space starts at eighteen inches or an arm’s length and ends at forty-eight inches, the height of an average six-year-old. With Alex I need more than that of a primary-school child. A place for everything, and everything in its place. Alex’s place isnotright next to me.
I sit down on the chair farthest from my new employee.
“Any news on a new tiler?” Gunnar asks me now. “Even given the cancellations, we’re struggling to keep up.”
“Yes.” I think I got my girl this time. “I have an interview this afternoon.”
