Page 32 of The Happiness Blueprint
“I corrected the map. The priest had a beard, and I hadn’t drawn one.”
“Seriously, Klara.”
“If you would have made yours more complete, not leaving details like that out it wouldn’t have been necessary.”
I’d like to be in a WhatsApp group called What Happens in Mallorca Stays in Mallorca or similar for something like a bachelorette party. Alice says she doesn’t believe in marriage, and my only cousin hasn’t had a girlfriend since 2019 when he got catfished by two sisters from Michigan, so my chances are slim.
I think about what my dad would have on his bucket list, remembering that he always wanted to teach me how to change a tire.I want my girls to be independent.I take out my phone to schedule this toward the end of my stay when Dad is presumably more energetic. At first the calendar confuses me with all its events in different colors. I trust that Alex is on top of it, though, so much so that I left the old leather diary at home yesterday.
I frown as I read a new entry from Alex. I must have ignored him lately. Since our lunch that left me shaken. I’m not proud of it, but I feel jealous that someone gets to be his wife and have his company and calm voice as soundtrack to their life.
The new entry in our shared calendar reads:
• NEW TASK:Say an actual good morning to Alex
I swiftly change it:
• EDITED TASK:Stay out of Klara’s way before 9am
Then decide to make my point even stronger.
• EDITED TASK:...before 10am. Thx very much x
Alex is back with another change:
Reply: Unless there are croissants?
Fair point. I could probably handle funny feelings induced by closeness to my very attractive but unavailable employee when a pastry is on the line.
Reply: Deal. A good morning for a croissant.
Then I go and check the heaters, in case Dad has sneakily turned them down, because I’m still getting occasional goose bumps.
ALEX
Shared Calendar
• NEW TASK:Add Alex to blood sugar monitoring app
Reply (Klara): Is there a work-related reason?
Reply (Alex): Appoint Alex as company wellness officer (Now there’s a reason)
Reply (Klara): Check your emails, Officer
SAVED TO DRAFTS
Dear Calle,
Thought writing to you was weird and testament to my poor composition, as someone I know would put it, but then I leave it a few days and guilt hits me. Like you’re waiting for me to tell you my news. Guess what? This time I have some. Big fucking news. I got a job and I got a boss (obviously) but she is this little thing that just holds my complete attention, and when I’m with her I feel like calling up Dr. Hadid’s office and saying,Hey there, no need for these notes or further sessions. Nothing but joy in my chest now.Then she moves away—she does this A LOT. As if she must have physical distance between herself and others at all times. I mean, my boss is fucking unique. But a good unique.
She keeps walking five steps ahead of me, and whenever I move closer, she bolts the other way. What’s up with that? I find myself lying awake and wondering what it means. Not used to people being difficult to read like that. And the looks she gives come right out of the blue, like lightning or something. She’s intense, but she’s also quiet and very steady. But also incredibly unorganized? Can’t seem to figure her out, but will continue to try—too much fun not to.
Keep seeing red hikers’ jackets everywhere. Are they back in fashion or something? Can’t wait in a line or look out the window without my heart jumping up into my throat. Thinking it’s guilt playing on my mind because I haven’t been driving as much. Only out looking on weekends now, not possible with work at 7am. Are you disappointed? Do you want me to go on?
“What would you do if you found the witness? How would it change anything? It won’t bring Calle back,” Dr. Hadid said. It would bring justice, that’s what it would do. Justice for you, justice for Dan—even for Mamma and Pappa. They need it more than they let on. With no witnesses, you can argue that you didn’t see, didn’t hear, didn’t mean to, didn’t know the car wasn’t safe to drive. If someone’s seen you, it’s not so easy. I can’t change what happened, I can’t go back and say,Yes, I’ll drive you home. Justice is the only thing I have.
Who knew following someone’s blood sugar could be so satisfying? Find myself peeking at the graph more often than I should. Her allowing me that follow is bigger than any Instagram action I’ve ever had. But not obsessing. Definitely not obsessing.
