Page 44 of The Happiness Blueprint
ALEX
Shared Calendar
• NEW EVENT:IELTS practice? (Your dad told me on drinks night...)
Reply (Klara): Dad should learn to keep family secrets to himself, like how Saga sucked her thumb until age seven, that he takes three sugars in his coffee even though the doctor has said he should only have one, and that his youngest daughter is unable to sit exams successfully if her life depended on it. Also, you do know it’s an English-language test and you’re not English?
Reply (Alex): I bit my fingernails until about two years ago. Seriously, you talk and I listen?
Reply (Klara): Could use math help.IfI actually did want to pass this test one day andifI were to go back to school, I need math practice. And I’m not saying I am going, just that I could use the practice. Six years since I last studied. Let’s do that instead?
Reply (Alex): Consider teacher hired.
Reply (Klara): Do you have the time?
Reply (Alex): You helped me find my witness. I want to give something back.
Have a reply. The group email appealing for witnesses was sent out to the list of dog owners on Monday, and one day later I have an email from someone called Berit. I could cry. Literally. May have already done it. Dan also can’t fucking believe it. We are staring at the screen together, and his knuckles are white and fists clenched.
“Fucking douche won’t be getting away so easily after all,” he says, and it’s probably the first time I’ve ever heard him swear, apart from once when he stubbed his pinkie toe on a boxed white wine.
“Wow, that felt good. I can see why you like swearing so much,” he says, then continues to move his eyes from left to right as he takes in the contents of the email.
Berit, aka Mysterious Red Fleece Lady, was staying in an Airbnb visiting her aunt that night last year, and she would love to help. She promises to get in touch with the case officer whose number I’ve given her. She may not remember everything, she says, but in the next sentence she says this:I do remember a lot of noise and screams. My dog was barking and I reckoned I wouldn’t be of much use so I headed off once I saw help was there. The white van stopped at the side, and the guy driving it looked over his shoulder. He had dark blond hair and looked stressed, I thought, then about a minute later he sped off. The tire went over the curb when he drove off.
Later that night she interrupts my ramen-slurping with a text:
Hello, Alex. I just remembered something that had slipped my mind before. I’m very sure I heard him shout some rudeness about a cyclist.
I feel some glimmer of hope for the first time since... I don’t even know when. I haven’t driven as often since I started work, and now I can stop altogether. There is no need to be anywhere other than my bed at 2:00 a.m. on any given night.
Buzzing and can’t wait to tell Klara. I enter it into the calendar we share.
• NEW EVENT:Hear Alex’s good news; Location: The friendship zone
When I get to the office, I make two coffees, milk in hers, mine black, and wait like an eager child. I’ve known how she takes her coffee since the first day I met her. Watched her make it and memorized her every move as if it would one day be information that saved my life.
Realize suddenly that Klara seems less stern lately, and less annoyed with me. She’s become the person I want to share news with.
It’s 9:10 a.m. and she still isn’t there, which is unusual. When she finally bursts in, I notice that she is wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
“Hi.” Her hair is not straight like yesterday but has soft curls.Why is she wearing the same clothes? And—why do you fucking care, Alex?
“Sorry I’m late. I had a date last night,” she says in a neutral tone. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I have some news. All thanks to you.” It doesn’t feel as sweet telling her this any longer. I’m deflated, and the coffee cup feels cold in my hand. I hand her hers. It’s still amazing news and one of the best days I’ve had in a long time, so I tell myself to cheer up.
“I found the woman.” Realize I haven’t told Klara much about the trial—or anything for that matter—but now seems not the time.
“Schnauzer Woman? Okay, now I will probably always imagine her with a big snout.” She laughs.Is she happier than usual?
“Yes. She fucking exists, after all this time. She will do a witness statement for us. It’s all being taken care of.” I pause. “I wanted to say thank-you.”
“It was nothing.”
“No, it was something. For me. It’s everything, actually.” If I could, I would tell her that I can stop driving at night, stop having an anxiety attack every time I spot a red jacket in a crowd of people, running after them like a mad person. But no words come out.
“Going to have a shower and start the day. Thanks for the coffee!” She walks into her dad’s house, leaving me in the office with the dishes.
