Page 51 of The Happiness Blueprint
Shish. I have considered a lot of things when it comes to Klara. Remember the conversation with Hanna a couple of days ago.
“I don’t care what you say, Alex. I’ve seen the looks. You two are couple goals.”
“Yeah, right. Have no idea what you mean. Klara’s long-term goal is London. And her short-term one is Tom.”
But I had to ask, “Has she said something about me?”
“When does she not say something about you...?”
Shift on the chair now and address Dr Hadid.
“Thanks. That’s...reassuring to hear.”
Thirty minutes later I’m waiting for Paul to reappear from the bathroom when Dr. Hadid brushes past me in the waiting room.
“Alex,” she says, “strictly off-the-record, maybe you should ask the girl out?”
KLARA
What are the next steps in a relationship?
Google Search I’m Feeling Lucky
It’s my fifth date with Tom since we met in the parking lot. I am back in his company for no better reason than he called, I answered, he asked, I said yes. Also, Alex canceled our math evening, and I have been on edge ever since. Doesn’t he believe in me any longer?
I may have realized he is not my jar-opener, as I seem to think about Tom more like I do a bag of Smarties or tub of ice cream long after dinner. I know I should go to bed but I still wantsomething. A message to Tom satisfies the craving.
We are halfway through our olive, nachos and roasted pimento pepper selection (which is paired with a sparkling Ramlösa, a locally sourced water with a low-mineral content and sharp fizz, Tom informs me) when my phone pings. It always appears more aggressive when I’m in a bar.Ping!instead ofping, as if it’s been having some cheeky tequilas when I wasn’t looking. A new event. Why do we need an extra staff meeting at 8:00 a.m.? I had planned on sleeping in. If 8:00 a.m. can be considered a sleep-in, but I take what I can get, and my first appointment happens to be at nine thirty. I curse myself for letting Alex be in charge.
“Early meeting tomorrow. I need to be going in about twenty-three minutes,” I say and sip my water.
“You’re not coming back to mine? It’s a good forty minutes for you to drive home.”
“You’re right. Itisvery far. I should leave in eighteen minutes, really. Thank you.” Staying over would delay me significantly and force me to skip breakfast. I hadn’t even planned to go home with Tom. I have a busy day tomorrow, followed by my second math practice with Alex: no way am I being tired for that.
“You could have told me before.” He is sulking like a child, his whole mouth turning down at the sides. These extreme facial expressions are helpful, as I don’t have to spend minutes interpreting them or sorting through how they make me feel. In this instance, I don’t sympathize with him. He could have made his expectations clearer and in that way received an advance response that I wouldn’t be going back to his place.
“You didn’t ask me to stay over, you asked me to a tapas bar.” He is starting to get on my nerves. Tom has been a pleasant distraction, sure, but distractions should stay mellow and not stir things up. Emotional status quo. Distractions should be a slow-paced Netflix show, nothing too exciting, a mediocre background song, and, if a person, they should be enjoyable but not overwhelming or annoying. Tom is more and more failing to be a good distraction.
“Klara? I wanted to suggest something...”
“Yes?”
“I thought we could, you know, put on someporntonight.”
Seriously? I start to gather my things.
“I feel like we are ready to take this to the next level.”
“Tom, that would be holding hands in public or me leaving a toothbrush at your place. Watching porn together is not a relationship stage.”
“Really?”
“Really. I’m going home.”
“Are you sure? Maybe you come over for a quick one? You would still have time to head home if we go back to mine now.”
“Absolutely a hundred percent sure. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.”
