Page 52 of The Happiness Blueprint
“Suit yourself. We may as well get going, then.” I don’t like sayingno, and I enjoy making other people happy, but like Alice keeps reminding me,Start to make yourself happy, Klara. You are also a person and therefore you count.And last time I slept with Tom, I didn’t feel happiness.
“Tom, can I ask you something?” He is paying the bill, and I finally pluck up the courage to ask what I should have years ago.
“Why did you dump me?” Tom takes his card back from the waiter with a silent thank-you and looks at me, eyes blue and sharp.
“I was eighteen and immature. I didn’t have finesse ending relationships yet, and you were so in love with me. I mean, everyone knew it. You were the type of girlfriend that just clung to me, you texted a hundred times a day, you wanted to meet every afternoon. I wasn’t sure how you would take it, if you were going to make a scene or start crying. I’m not good with girls crying. I know it wasn’t a nice thing to do, leaving you alone with a note on a cup. I had planned to sit down and tell you, I really had, but nerves got the better of me.” He smiles. “Let’s be honest, Klara. You’re not exactly the easiest person to have a conversation with, are you?”
I want to ask why he didn’t call me afterward, but he continues, giving me the answer that could have helped me years ago. That tells me he will always be one of three failed attempts with no future, not even as a distraction. The one answer that there is no point to argue with.
Tom says, “I guess I just wasn’t that into you.”
ALEX
Shared Calendar
• NEW EVENT (ALEX):Pastries in staff room
Reply (Alex): They are still hot
Reply (Alex): Okay, now they’re probably cold...
Reply (Klara): Running late. See you soon. Don’t eat them all
It’s 8:14 a.m., and I watch my hopes of Klara having had an early, Tom-free night crumble like the pastries I have prepared on the meeting table. When she finally bursts through the door, I sense that something is different. Her dark hair is still straight from last night’s styling, but she is makeup-free. The small birthmark on her chin is more visible without the cream and nonsense. I like it.
“Good night?” I ask.
“I guess.” She grabs a croissant, wrapping it in a paper tissue, and bites off the crisp end standing up. She reaches for her pump remote with the other. She has an angry look, the same one she had when I first met her, and she wasn’t Klara yet, just a weird Interview Lady. I’m guessing she is upset about something, and as much as I would like to ask, I refrain and instead try to be as helpful as I can.
“They are 26 grams of carbohydrates.” I’ve already made a habit of checking packaging before throwing it away to know how much she needs to take insulin for.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
“I broke up with Tom.”
“Thank fuck for that.” Totally did not intend for that to be said out loud.
“Can you not swear?”
“Not sure it’s possible. Mamma has tried for years. Apparently, Jesus didn’t swear, although he was a simple man.”
“Want me to find out?” She pulls out her phone and types at record speed.
“You brood of vipers,he’s been quoted saying.Pretty sure that’s the modern-day equivalent of swearing. So yes, you’re in good company, tell your mum.”
I laugh, then go on to ask, “Are you okay?” She seems okay. I very muchwanther to be okay without Tom.
“I am. Thank you. It’s the first time I have ended a relationship. Kind of. Unless you count one where I had terms laid out for the continuation of the relationship, and I opted not to comply, leading to the two of us going our separate ways.”
“I’d say you’re right, that doesn’t count. But he does sound like a moron.” I nod, then ask, “Why did you break up with Tom?”
“Let’s just say that it was a learning experience. I’ve now learned. And also because I don’t want a loafer when I’m a sneaker,” she says. Her Klara logic intrigues me, as always.
“Okay. Not following. You are a sneaker—as in plastic fantastic and tied up to something, strings attached? Should I be worried?”
“It’s a metaphor, Alex.”
