Page 64 of The Second Chance Bus Stop
Sophia Ven
Blom’s Blooms
Stora byvägen 28
347 44 Svedala
www.blomsblooms.com
TO:Mum
SUBJECT:ABA
Hello,
I wonder if you read about ABA before you found my therapist? I have now, and it says it can treat 70 per cent of people with Autism. I’m trying to imagine what I was like, how you could look at me and feel I needed to be treated. Therapy was the worst thing that’s happened to me. It ruined my ability to say no, taught me that I didn’t have bodily autonomy and primed me for being taken advantage of. It made me scared of face-to-face situations because I grew scared of the consequences.
Sophia Ven
Blom’s Blooms
Stora byvägen 28
347 44 Svedala
www.blomsblooms.com
TO:Mum
SUBJECT:School
Hi Mum,
I hope you read my last message. And the one before that. I was thinking about school today. Because I had to have lunch at a food court, and it reminded me of the cafeteria. There were smells and strange consistencies and a variety of dishes brought together resulting inan odour that stuck to my nostrils like glue. I never knew were to sit, back in school. I would stand in the cafeteria with my tray, and there were always seats available but I realised I couldn’t pick one. It wasn’t just picking a seat, it was a strategy. There were seats I wasn’t allowed in, that were reserved for best friends and where I’d be turned away as I approached. Then there were seats that had a free space next to them or, worse, several free spaces. That would mean the bullies could take them, could get close to me. And chew loudly in my ear and watch as I’d start to shiver. They might pour a packet of salt on my food. And finally watch me get up and leave without having eaten a thing.
Do you know what I did in the food court today, Mum? I left after one bite.
I wonder if I would have been a different person if I hadn’t been forced to go to a mainstream school. I could have been a person who liked to learn, who wasn’t always hungry, and who felt calm and safe. I read about a boy on Twitter, he gets to skip playtime and replace it with quiet time in the library, he gets to skip PE and have shorter days. I kept thinking about him, because I’m so happy for him.
I always thought I failed, but maybe it was school that failed me?
Goodnight.
Sophia Ven
Blom’s Blooms
Stora byvägen 28
347 44 Svedala
www.blomsblooms.com
We are down to the last days of the trip, and the joy I feel at being able to say, ‘I did it!’ is covering for the other feelings I have about the trip with Blade coming to an end. He is helping me today, having told me the search and interviews have concluded, he’s done with his research. When we arrive late afternoon, the marketplace is already full of people, covering the ground, blending together into a one-coloured carpet-like blur like moss phlox,Phlox subulata.
‘Where do you want the crates?’ Blade asks and I nod towards an area at the edge of the common.
‘We’re really just waiting for it to finish so we can pack up. Getting it all ready.’
