Page 82 of The Second Chance Bus Stop
‘Someone loved my uncle. Wanted to be a family with him. And I never knew.’
‘It’s strange when you find out your parent, or uncle, wasn’t who you thought.’
‘It’s funny, because I do know who she is. I’ve known your mum all along.’
Blade looks at me, not quite understanding.
‘I told you Sven never went to London. That he never had a relationship. I always found some comfort in the fact he was like me. I could live and be happy even if I were alone, because he was happy even though he was alone.’
‘You are like him, he was like you.’
I nod.
‘But he did find someone. Just like Vincent told me, he went to London. He spoke about her, what she would do if she lived with him. How she would play with me and teach me a new language and run the shop with him.
‘He never said her name. She wasn’t real. Or at least I thought she wasn’t. He would talk about her like he was telling me a story, creating a fairy tale for me, for us to live inside when the world was too much for me. Remember the drawing you asked about in my shop? The one of a happy family? And the one in the camper-van?’
‘Yes.’
‘She was Miss Marigold. Your mum.’
Blade pauses, but I can see something building in his face.‘Yes, my mum was your Miss Marigold. The love they had was so special he told you stories about it. Because he was happy. And I am now too, not just because I found Sven for my mum, but because I found you.
‘You coming on this trip was the best thing that’s happened to me in years. I felt freer, more seen, more alive when I was with you. I felt more like myself, and that there might be more to life than just caring for Mum full time. But then I had to leave.’
This is a lot of information. I tense and then say, ‘You know how I like directness. Explanations and reasons. Why did you leave with just a message?’
‘I had to go right away. Mum had a fall and was in hospital. I panicked. I didn’t think you could handle it, me splitting my attention and focus with my mum. But it was selfish. I’m so sorry, Sophia.’
In my family we only say sorry for stepping on each other’s feet or spilling a glass of milk. I blink at the unusual use of the word.
He continues.
‘I learned so much on this trip. Your uncle and my mum loved each other. He did turn up that day. You were right, he was a good man. And my mum made a wrong choice, much like I did, much like we all do sometimes. But like her I want to make it better, to apologise and to hope that you can forgive me. Because the most important thing I learned on this trip was how much I love you.’
Then he tells me there is a safe that belonged to my uncle waiting to be opened an hour’s drive from where I am. A safe with something he wanted Blade’s mum to have. My anger has faded over the course of the phone call, as I have started to understand.If Blade hadn’t come to find Sven we would neverhave met. If my uncle didn’t love his mother, we never would have met. If I hadn’t gone on this trip with Blade, I wouldn’t have tried to save my shop, I wouldn’t have learned to stand up for myself, I wouldn’t have learned to fight.And most importantly, Blade left not because he doesn’t want me but because he’s also scared. And he’s back now.
Blade
London
I get off the phone as I walk through Kensington Gardens on my way to drop off a box of chocolates to Hamptons. Mum tells me the estate agent who helped her is called Eliza and wears sad footwear. I think that description will be sufficient. The peonies, and the roses and irises are still blooming in flowerbeds behind the black railings but all I can think of is a grass flower.
I write to her, the call not being nearly enough.What flower are you now?
I find Eliza right away and she seems to recognise me.
‘Edith’s son, hi!’ She is pretty and energetic, and I can imagine her in a promotional video for a new-build eagerly demonstrating the hot-water tap.
‘I’ve got something for you. A thank you, for being there for her and being so kind,’ I say.
‘It’s no problem at all. She’s become a friend.’
‘I still have a hard time thinking of my mum as having friends.’
‘Oh, she has a lot. A whole village, I’d say. She’s become a bit of a legend around here.’
My mum. The woman who can’t be moved. Which brings me to the other reason I came to see Eliza.
