Page 88 of The Second Chance Bus Stop
‘It’s letters. All letters,’ I tell her when she’s sitting down. ‘He wrote to you.’
‘Are they stamped?’ she asks and I flick through a pile again to confirm.
‘No,’ I say. ‘Not a single stamp.’
Edith closes her eyes as if she’s on a rollercoaster or a high cliff she doesn’t want to look down from.
‘I’ll read them all when I get there. One by one.’
‘They span twenty years, Edith,’ I say. ‘From 1996 to 2016 when he died. All these years you were both writing to each other, but never sending the letters.’
I get my laptop up and ready and wait for it to be four o’clock. I log on five minutes early and then sit there, staring at the virtual waiting room with my heart beating fast, until one, two, three, four members of my family finally arrive.I can do this.
‘Hi, Sophia,’ they all say in different tones and pitches.
‘Thanks for tuning in,’ I say, as if I’m hosting a radio show.
‘We’re listening.’
I take a deep breath that stretches my insides to the point of being almost painful.Ready.
‘I’d like to keep the shop,’ I say. ‘I don’t have the money to buy you out up front but I’m happy to pay instalments. Or have you all be shareholders and you get a part of the profit. But the shop is my life. It’s what kept me going when things in my childhood and its various components almost killed me. I can’t lose it.’
There, I said it.
‘I think a shareholder agreement sounds very wise,’ Mattias says, the first one to speak.
‘If that’s what Sven wanted, then why didn’t the will say so? He meant for you to use the shop as a gateway to life. Your first five years was sorted. Then you’d have to stand on your own two legs like everyone else,’ Hampus says.
‘Or maybe he thought the five years would be sufficient for me to learn to stand my ground and fight for what I want in life.’
Pontus’s head is constantly bobbing off to the side.
‘Sorry, how long do you think this will take? Djurgården is playing MFF.’
‘As long as it takes to find a solution,’ I offer.
‘Listen, I don’t need money upfront,’ Pontus says. ‘Not a problem if it comes as small payments from profit.’
‘That’s assuming Sophia can make a profit,’ Hampus argues.
‘And that’s where I have almost five years’ experience and trading history to show you,’ I counter. ‘You’ve also seen my work and are familiar with it.’ I’m grateful for Vincent’s decision to invite them to see it firsthand despite me telling him not to.
‘I say let’s get an agreement drafted and then take a final decision,’ Mattias suggests.
‘That sounds reasonable,’ Hampus says.
Pontus has gone off-screen completely now, the sound that emits tells us that either his team just scored or he has witnessed a murder in his living room.
‘He’d sign over his own mother to watch the game. Don’t worry, he’s in,’ Mattias says.
‘Great,’ I say, avoiding the words ‘thank you’ because I want to have authority and women in general need to say ‘thank you’ less. ‘I will handle this.’
When we hang up I’m surprised at how easy it was—one conversation that undid years of worrying. I think perhaps there will be other things in life I can approach head-on and solve, and that I’m capable. Sometimes conversation and communication are good things that I don’t need to be afraid of.
The drafted shareholder agreement arrives back signed by all three brothers within a few days after I sent it off to Mattias. I skim it fast and then sit in stillness.
I have no payments to make at the end of next year.It’s mine.
