Page 45 of Embers of You
“Luckily he was gone, but she was still in bed, and I think he fucked her stupid, but they went to town. I couldn’t help myself; I kicked her awake and said ‘Damn, duck man really ducked you real good didn’t he?’”
That does it for me and I laugh so loud I’m sure everyone at the fire station next door can hear me. I hold my stomach as though it can contain the sound that is bursting out of me. Lily looks at me, clearly amused, but I can’t stop. Of course Jerry Lee feels the need to insert his two cents,“Shut up, Vern.”
Because I’m already losing it, I end up laughing even harder. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I try my best to pull myself together. Finally, I do enough to ask, “Did she end up seeing him again?”
“Nope, she hit it and quit it.”
“Really? You’d think after such a solid ducking she would want to see him again.”
“She may have been ducked out, but had a good time.”
I may not know Anna, but I can say that thanks to her sacrifice, I also had a good time hearing this outrageous story. And it was the perfect distraction today, exactly what I needed. It’s not until I get home after work that I let my mind take over once again as to why getting involved with Jameson would be a bad idea.
So, the text from him on my phone goes unanswered.
CHAPTER 22
Jameson
Ma isn’t havinga good day. After her appointment, which didn’t go as well as we hoped, the mood is somber as we get back home. She tries to lighten it like she always does but I don’t think anything can help right now. The disease is progressing faster than any of us thought and I can’t bear to think about what that truly means.
“I think we could splurge for some ice cream, what do you think?” Her voice is just as bright as it always is, not a hint of sadness or fear.
“I think that’s hardly a splurge, Ma. You have ice cream after dinner every day.” She always has. It was basically a tradition as I was growing up. I’m not big on sweets, but I’ll always have ice cream, especially her favorite, chocolate chip cookie dough.
“What if my splurge is having it twice?” She smiles.
I can’t help but smile back and nod, agreeing. “Fine, but sit down and I’ll bring it to you.”
She huffs like she wants to argue, but no matter how hard she tries to hide how tired she is from me, it won’t work. I can readthe truth in her eyes, but I’m not going to call her on it. Instead of saying anything, she goes and sits in her chair while I go to the kitchen to get her a bowl of ice cream.
I don’t think I can stand to eat any right now, but I’ll give her whatever it is she wants. My dad ends up coming into the kitchen while I’m scooping the dessert. He didn’t come with us because Ma insisted he didn’t need to. He loves her, and I know he wants to be with her every step of the way, but being around me creates a tension in the air that’s impossible to ignore. Ma knows it. My dad knows it. I know it.
I just want us to be civil, at least for Ma. He doesn’t seem to agree with that. Especially with the way he’s looking at me right now. I do my best to ignore his gaze, looking down as I scoop the second spoonful into the glass bowl.
“How’d it go?” his gruff voice asks quietly. I’m taken aback by the fact that he’s asking me.
I sigh. “Not great. It’s progressing faster than they would like and the treatment isn’t as effective as they hoped.”
His face remains blank, hiding any emotion he might be feeling just like he always does. I may know my parents love each other, but sometimes I wonder how I’ve come to that conclusion. They’ve never been overly affectionate. I would never walk into a room where they were dancing. We wouldn’t come home to my dad scooping her up with a kiss because he missed her so much.
All the things I think I would want to do with my wife, if I ever get married. I would want her to know how loved and lucky I am to have her every single day of our lives.
On the other hand, I’ve never felt that way with anyone before and it’s why I haven’t gotten married. So maybe thatdoesn’t exist for anyone, even if you are in love it is never as intense as I think it should be.
Except, I can’t help but think about Sutton. The feelings I’m already having for her are stronger than I’ve ever felt for anyone, and I barely even know her. There’s just something there, something about her. About us. I can feel it simmering under the surface and it’s like the type of love I’ve thought about. The kind I wasn’t sure existed may be real.
My dad still hasn’t said anything, but him clearing his throat pulls me from my runaway thoughts. The ice cream I’ve scooped already starting to melt. I grab a spoon, and the bowl to take to Ma. I stop before leaving the kitchen, “She may not admit she’s scared to me, but I can tell she feels more than she’s letting on. Just like I know she would like to see us get along for her sake.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond before I’m joining my mom in the living room, handing her the bowl. She has a smile on her face, but her eyes are tired.
“Thank you, sweetie.” Her eyebrows furrow when she takes in the one bowl. “Why don’t you have one for yourself?”
“I’m not really hungry.”
She narrows her eyes at me, taking a bite and I look down, huffing out a laugh at her glare. I don’t expect my dad to enter the room, but Ma’s expression changes from her lighthearted glare to a soft smile toward my dad.
Maybe that has been there before and I just haven’t noticed or maybe it’s something I’ve never really thought much about. Seeing the way she’s looking at him and the concern in his eyes toward her makes me think that maybe I’ve just chosen not to pay attention to their kind of love.
