Page 131 of Playing Dirty
“Of course you do, sweetheart. Why else would you be hurting this much?”
I hear her soft sniffles, and I know she has to be thinking about my dad—about what it was like to be in this position, only for it to end in a completely different way.
And, God, if that doesn’t make me feel even guiltier. Because she already lost a man she loved once, and if my actions end up doing the same with Adam—
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mom.” Another choked noise leaves me and I shake some more. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I don’t want to ruin things for you and Adam, butI—”
“Oh, I know. Shh. Madden, it’s okay,” she insists gently. “You don’t need to worry about me or Adam or anything else, okay? Everything will work out just fine.”
She presses a gentle kiss to the side of my head while her palms coast up and down my arms. I feel one of her tears fall onto my forearm before she wipes it away, and it only makes my own fall faster.
“Madden, shh. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. You can’t help who you fall in love with, sweetheart. I understand that more than anyone.” She pulls back and forces my chin up to meet her gaze. The tears are spilling over from her eyes too, and she gives me the best smile she can manage. “And those Greyson men are particularly hard to resist.”
A watery laugh leaves me, and I fall back into her embrace, squeezing her tight and making no signs of letting go. And she just holds me like that. Allowing me to sink into her warmth, her nurturing presence, her solidity. She keeps her arms wrapped around me long after my raging emotions have subsided and I can finally breathe normally.
“I should have told you” is the first thing I manage to say, though the words are still cracked and raw.
“I would’ve preferred that, but I can’t fault you for not. You’re your own person, exactly the way I raised you.” She hums softly before she presses another kiss to my head and pulls away. Her tears have dried, but there’s still a sheen of concern in her gaze. “Just know you can tell me anything, sweetheart. That’s what I’m here for. And I willalwayssupport you in whatever choices you make.”
“Even with this one? Choosing him?” I hedge.
My jaw tics and my stomach churns, though I know it’s not the concussion causing the nausea this time. But the panic is assuaged whenshe nods, not an ounce of hesitation present.
“As long as he chooses you too.”
Theo’s sitting up in his hospital bed when I’m finally able to see him a couple hours later, but his eyes are closed, head resting back against a stack of pillows. His mom and Adam were talking out in the hall when I got to his room, but they gave me the okay to go in, not realizing he’d fallen back asleep.
I have every intention of leaving, going back to my room, then returning to see him once he’s awake again, but my feet remain rooted in place as I stare at his bed-ridden form.
He’s banged up, covered in bruises and scratches, but it’s the sight of his splinted leg, elevated in some sort of sling, that makes me sick to my stomach all over again. All the emotions I released earlier start knotting in my throat, making no signs of stopping, as I take a hesitant step in his direction, then another, while staring at the contraption his leg is in.
“At least you didn’t have to sneak into my room this time.”
My attention snaps to his face to find his eyes open, a small smile on his handsome, battered face…and the dam breaks. It shatters into a million pieces the moment my gaze collides with his, and some sort of strangled sound slips past my lips while I rake my fingers through my hair.
Concern lines his features, his eyes softening around the edges. “Hey, hey. It was a joke. Mads, what—”
“I’m so sorry. Fuck, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” I’m at his side in an instant, dropping into the chair beside him, grabbing his hand, and wrapping it in both of mine. The heat of it between my palms does little to soothe me, though, and I find myself lost in rambling thoughts and word vomit all over again. “The truck, it came out of nowhere. One second wewere fighting and then we just…”
My throat constricts as the memory barrels into me, and more than anything, I hope he doesn’t remember what happened. Even if it means he forgot all the things we talked about, it’s fine. I’ll take it as a do-over, making sure the next time those three words leave my mouth, they aren’t laced with frustration and anger.
“Hey, it’s fine,” Theo whispers, his hand lifting to cup my cheek. “We’re both right here, okay? You don’t have to explain anything. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.”
I shake my head, another tear spilling over and sliding down my face.
“Fuck. It should be me stuck in this bed, not you. It’s my fault for not seeing him, and—”
The words die in my throat, as if they knew there’s no way they could convey how sorry I am. How much I wish I could take his place lying here, broken.
“What? Why? So you can lose out on everything you’ve worked for?” Theo shakes his head, only to wince from the movement. “No. Absolutely not. I’m glad it’s me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
His thumb traces the line of my jaw before swiping away the stray tear cascading over my cheekbone. There’s a sad little smile on his face before he whispers, “If anything, it’s on me for distracting you while you were driving.”
I grab his hand from my face, clasping it between mine again and pressing kiss after kiss to it. On his knuckles, his palm, his wrist, anywhere I can as I whisper more apologies against his skin. Another set of tears fall silently to the linens covering his bed, and he pulls his hand away to pat the mattress beside him.
“Come here,” he says.
The request has my gaze lifting to his face, and I’m about to tell himit’s a terrible idea, what with his leg being propped up the way it is, but he’s already shifted over just enough for me to squeeze onto the edge.
