Page 46 of Playing Dirty
Oakley lets out a snort. “Full of himself, that’s for sure.”
“Full of something, all right,” Quinton says with a laugh before waggling his eyebrows suggestively at his boyfriend. “And a little bit of myself, yeah, because we both know you didn’t think I’d swallow on the first try.”
“Oh, my God.” Oakley sets the wooden spoon on the counter and sends him another exasperated glare. “Why are you giving him a vivid recount of our first hookup?”
“He asked!”
“He asked how youfelt,jackass.”
“You’re the one who decided to make a smart-ass comment before I could answer,” Quinton says with a shrug.
Oakley takes a deep breath and sighs before looking at me. “You know, I wish you would’ve come tomewith these questions, because he’s gonna be insufferable for the rest of the night now.”
“Insufferable, probably. But you’ve known you were gay since high school, so your input here is completely irrelevant.”
Oakley frowns. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I could be wrong,” Quinton starts, cocking his head slightly and assessing me with his vibrant blue eyes. “But I think our friend Theo is having a little bit of bi-panic.”
The statement takes Oakley by complete surprise, if his sharp “What?” is anything to go on. But Quinton ignores his outburst entirely, keeping his focus locked on me.
Waiting.
I don’t miss the way he left an out for me, and for that, I’m immensely grateful. But if I want honest answers, then I guess I need to be honestwith myself too.
I open my mouth, then quickly close it again before letting out a confused laugh. “I…uh, is that what this is called?”
He grins. “I mean, I don’t think it has an official term, but it’s rather fitting.”
If only putting a name to my current state of unrest could do something to assuage it, then I’d be golden.
Oakley’s completely abandoned their dinner now, standing directly behind Quinton to look at me. “Hold the fucking phone. He wasright?”
Quinton frowns and glances up at him over his shoulder. “When are you gonna learn I’m always right?”
Ignoring his boyfriend, Oakley quickly tries to piece things together before asking, “So you hooked up with a guy? Is that what I’m supposed to be gathering?”
I clear my throat, attempting to dislodge the knot that’s crawled its way into my windpipe, but my reply still comes out rather hoarse.
“Um…I did, yeah.”
It takes Oakley half a second to process before a list of questions comes tumbling out in rapid succession.
“Where? When? Who was it? Have you told anyone else?”
“And you sayI’mthe gossip in this relationship,” Quinton says with a laugh, only sobering when he looks back at me and says, “You should know you don’t need to answer any of those questions if you don’t want to.Heshould know better than to ask them in the first place.”
Oakley winces. “That’s my bad, T.”
There’s an awkward beat where I debate if I should spill all the details or not, but thankfully, Quinton takes the spotlight off me so I don’t have to decide.
“Look, I barely made it home that night before I panicked. Sure, myactions were initially driven by our stupid rivalry, and even while it was happening, that’s the only thing that was on my mind. But myreaction to it was…unexpected, to say the least. I didn’t expect to actually enjoy it, and I damn well didn’t anticipate wanting to do it again.”
Oakley holds a hand up and interjects with, “I clearly remember you offering a repeat before you even left the bathroom.”
“Because I’m a cocky asshole who was full of shit,” Quinton replies immediately before recounting more for me. “But once I worked through the initialoh, fuck, but I’m straightmoment, I asked myself a couple of very reductive questions.” Holding up his hand, he ticks off his fingers at the same time he lists them. “One, am I attracted to Oakley? And two, did I desire him like any of the girls from my past?”
“Obviously the answer to both was yes,” I surmise wryly.
