Page 18 of Maybe
“Wow. I’m an uncle.” He moutheduncleagain, like he was testing out the word.
“I’m a bloody good dad, too,” I added. “Had a great role model. Basically, our father taught me to do everything he didn’t.”
Shaking his head, Isaac laughed again. “I certainly don’t recall him ever taking me to the park. Or picking me up from school.”
Jonty and his mates loved this little playground. Fuck knows why; the swings were marinated in bird shit and the patchy grass awash with lager cans and cigarette butts discarded by skint teenagers maintaining a long tradition of late-night playground drinking, then vandalising the equipment. A Tupperware of samosas appeared from deep within the folds of Faizan’s mum’s voluminous sari. I waved my thanks as Jonty crammed one into his mouth.
Leaning against the park railings, I lit up a fag and watched Isaac watching Jonty. “I’m not with Jonty’s mum,” I offered. “She’s had another kid since Jonty, with a bloke called Dave. Jonty lives with me most of the time; he goes to hers every other weekend, or if I’ve got something on.”
Isaac threw me a sidelong glance, sheepishly.
“I was pretty sure you were… um… gay.”
“Oh, I am.” I chuckled. “Exceedingly. I was back then, too. But I was also young and horny. And drunk most of the time. I’d have fucked a lamppost if it made the first move.”
Isaac's cheeks flushed. “Charming.”
“That’s me.” I took a long drag. “Prince Charming fucking personified.”
Isaac and Faizan were, as all kids did, lying on their bellies on the grubby swing seat and twisting the chains into knots as they spun around.
“He’s so like you.” Isaac said, as if he knew my pride in my son was boundless. “Although I imagine you were a terror at his age. Are you and his mum… ah… cordial?”
I smiled to myself. Carly was the reason I had a roof over my head, a functioning liver, and most of my sanity. “Yeah. She’s my best mate. We’ve been through a lot together and come out the other side.”
“So you had a… a long relationship with her?”
“Is a couple of hours considered long these days?”
Isaac’s face was a picture; I took pity on him. “If you’re asking if we were taking folate supplements and saving for a starter home, then that’s a no.” I huffed a laugh. “She was seventeen. If memory serves, I think we did the deed three times in total. She swore she was on the pill, and I was irresponsible, pissed, feckless, and happy to believe her. I fucked her mum a couple of times, too.”
Isaac groaned. “Jeez, Ezra. Really?”
“Yeah. I drew the line at her dad, though. He’s not my type.”
Isaac’s mouth hung open. Literally. I didn’t think that was actually a thing.
I wasn’t usually so crude. Call it bitter leftovers, anger, resentment, or plain orneriness, but an unlikeable part of me gained pleasure in riling him, in a way no one else prompted.My chance to stick it to my father had vanished on his death; innocent, privileged Isaac was the next best thing.
“You’re catching flies,” I said, for the gratification of seeing another blush creep up his neck.
“You’re…” He swallowed and blew out a breath. “You and I have led very different lives, to say the least.” Despite hitting upon a diplomatic response, he sounded disapproving. He had a fucking nerve.
“Yes, well, as I think I may have informed the esteemed guests at the memorial, I was a cross my father had to bear. The least I could do was make sure it was bloody heavy.”
“I can’t quite see how having indiscriminate, unprotected sex got back at him, though.”
Annoyingly, it was a valid argument and typical of Isaac’s logical thought processes.
“It didn’t, but at the time it made me feel a hell of a lot better.”
God, those years after my mum died had been bleak. One massive, internal boiling soup of anger and confusion and lashing out. Mixed with a sense of rejection by the entire world. But anger dominated. My hatred of my father had been almost a living thing. Isaac’s mum hadn’t been much better; Isaac and the twins had been by-blows. So I drank to forget. I went clubbing to get laid. Trying to prove a point—not that I ever knew what point, exactly.
“Are you out? Being g-gay, I mean,” he stuttered.
“Open your mouth and you’ll discover for yourself.” God, I was obnoxious. “Yes, I have been since school.”
Isaac digested that. The disapproving pursed lip was back. “And you still ended up getting some poor girl pregnant.”
