Page 32 of Maybe
CHAPTER 13
EZRA
Pretty Vacant, my mate Neil’s band, had a gig at the Two Locks on Kentish Town Road. All the songs were mine, except for the odd cover thrown in. I’d invited Isaac on a whim, a bit like impulsively introducing him to Jonty. Perhaps I wanted to show him there was more to me than that troubled teen with a habit of fucking off. And, maybe, by accepting the invite, Isaac wanted to show me there was more to him than a mid-range electric car and a future mapped out by virtue of our surname. He didn’t need to; I’d known that since I was a boy.
As Isaac queued up for drinks, insisting it was his treat, I nipped outside for a smoke. Neil joined me, rolling himself a joint.
“Who’s the guy?”
“Why? You jealous?”
“Depends.” Neil flicked his lighter. “He’s pretty.”
“Keep your grubby hands off him.” Isaac was that and some, but no way would he ever become one of Neil’s random playthings. “He’s my innocent baby brother, we got back in touch recently.”
Neil side-eyed me. “He doesn’t look like you. Or anyone else in here, to be honest.”
That was fair. Isaac stuck out like a sore prick. He wasn’t dressed incongruously in comparison to the clubbers around us; black jeans and a light grey round neck sweater were fine, so it wasn’t his clothes. Nor his sandy hair, parted in a style usually seen on a man twice his age, though the plainness suited him. Nor was it his size, average in every way, though tonight he had the air of someone trying to make themselves smaller. When we arrived, his left hand twisted at the hem of the sweater as his clear wide eyes flicked around the room, careful not to land anywhere for too long. His right clutched his nearly empty pint of lager like a comfort blanket. He’d downed two in quick succession.
Mind you, after a sixty-hour week and failing an exam I’d worked my socks off for, I’d have probably done the same, plus thrown in a few vodka shots.
“We’re not blood relatives. His dad was with my mum. I was adopted by his dad. His mum is someone else. Long story.”
Neil digested that, or pretended to, squinting up at the clear evening sky. “That’s good, seeing as you want to jump his bones.”
“Fuck off, mate! Isaac’s my brother.”
Before I could hurl any more insults at him, that bloody dream I’d had flitted through my head.
What thehell?
Then there was that hug in his kitchen too. I hadn’t wanted to ever let go. But that was just pleasant bodily heat and friction. Wasn’t it?
“Youhavethought of him that way,” Neil persisted. “You’ve got that possessive, ‘just a little too pleased with yourself’ look. Youryou belong to melook.”
“I don’t have ayou belong to melook!”
“Yeah you do.” Neil took a drag, tossing his dreads back. “I should know.”
I plucked the joint from his hand. It was getting weird. And Neil’s casual remarks were getting too close to the knuckle.
I inhaled deeply, all the way to the bottom of my lungs. “You’ve been smoking to much of this, mate.”
Ihadgiven the dead-eye to some bloke earlier who’d stood a bit too close to Isaac in the queue to get in. And I’d noticed Isaac smelled great tonight, like he looked: clean and virtuous. I’d even told him so, sniffing his hair then sniffing it again like I couldn’t get enough of it.
Neil shrugged. “Does he want to jump yours?”
I loved Neil to bits, but he clung to an idea the way a starving dog worried a bone. “No!”
“How do you know? Have you asked him? ‘Cos I don’t reckon he’s here for the tunes and the mosh pit, do you?”
“I don’t need to ask him. He’s my fucking brother and I wanted to spend some time with him; he’s not some random guy I picked up at Camden Lock on the way over.”
To be fair, I was staggered Isaac hadn’t cried off. Finally escaping Neil’s inquisition, I sought him out, standing alone and sipping his beer, his eyes roaming the place like he was searching for me.
“All good?” I bent low to his ear so he could hear me over the racket of the warm-up band. Yep, still smelled great. In fact, the whole package—his shy smile, his nervousness, his determination to enjoy a night in here because it was my thing—was inconveniently charming.
Isaac’s skin had a tendency to blush easily, and it did so now. “Great!” he shouted back at me, “I’ve never been anywhere like this,”
